My Life's Biggest Regret !

Hey guys , so today I am going to tell you all about one of my biggest regrets.

I think my biggest regret is being so sunk up in me . Ever since I was small , I was brought up by my grandparents , and I was always lonely . Even if my cousins did come , it was more like their family and me . They would push me , haha , for fun , but since I was chubby , I would fall and hurt myself. So I was never seeing all taht as fun. Then at last in 2001 , I got my visiting visa to go to where my parents are , and by then there was a big gap between me and my family. As I landed , there was another baby in mom's hand. And somehow , that Gap became bigger and bigger. I was only thinking about me those days , thinking , oh , nobody likes me , why should I even live , my own parents don't like me , such bad thoughts came over my tiny brain.

Then slowly I entered adolescence , and still my thoughts hadn't changed much , but I loved my family , even though we fought a lot. I was kind off disappointed in myself ,mainly cause I wasn't living up to my parents expectations. All of our family friends kids or even my cousins were good at school , and they were getting A+ 's when I was barely passing. I didn't know English , I didn't understand anything. It was so hard for me. Then the bullying from school too , that just broke me . I didn't know what to do , so I shut myself down. I stopped talking much , that's how I started reading , and my love for books began.

So all that time , I was thinking , my problems are the biggest , that is infact my biggest regret ever. Cause only last year I knew how my sister was feeling or what she was going through. And only after I came to China , I started seeing why my parents did what they did , to raise us in a good circumstance. So I felt ashamed at myself , I really wish that I wasn't full of myself those days ,and if I had just thought what everyone else was feeling . Maybe some things could have been avoided.

This is one of my biggest regrets , that's why , now I'm living completely for them . I don't actually like thinking about me anymore. I love living for my family. My time will come , now is there's.