Think I'm a lil late on this, but going to try anyways.

What should you give an injured lemon? Lemon-AID
If an atheist died in church, what would they put on their coffin? Dirt
Who went into the lion's den unarmed and came out alive? The lion?
A man rode down the street on a horse, yet walked. How come? No idea.
How can you eat an egg without breaking the shell? Inhale it?
Why was King Henry VIII buried in Westminster Abbey? Cause he died?
Country's used to hang many criminals, but they would not hang a man with a wooden leg. Why? Umm.. No clue.
Why do storks stand on one leg? I don't know. Some scientists think it's to preserve body heat I guess?
A circular field is covered in thick snow. A black cow with white spots is in the middle. Two white cows with black spots are on the edge of the field. What time is it? What...? I don't get it.
What was the problem with the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine? It caught on fire?