Welcome back. In this instalment, we explore exploitation, psychological damage, excessive control, power and more.

Previously, I discussed the dangers of being naïve and ways you can identify a narcissist, including common tactics they use to reel you in. You can find Part 1 of Noobs – How to spot a narcissistic liar and avoid being duped by charlatans, con artists and idiots :) here.

Exploitation

The reason they targeted you is because they can see profit or potential in what you do. They see talent – something they're lacking. They want a piece of that, the lazy person's shortcut to profiting from your hard work. You'll be their cash cow. You have value that the narcissist is keen to harness and exploit. If you look good, they (by association) look good in that reflected light. The narcissist does not want to be seen associating with illiterates, idiots and shitposters.

The narcissist is a self-appointed king of the castle. As one of their serfs, you will be expected to perform favours and duties. They will convince you that they are mentoring or helping you grow. The reality is that you're up to your neck in water and they're standing on your shoulders, barely looking down to see if you can breathe. That's ok though – you're disposable because there's a constant stream of noobs arriving to replace you when you've served your purpose.

The narcissist benefits most from 'helping' you because, as a noob, you'll be willing to promote, resteem, upvote and comment on the narcissist's blog to show your support and gratitude. This raises the narcissist's profile, helping them grow and profit. They will, however, throw a few crumbs your way to keep you keen and hungry.

Psychological damage

Narcissists are psychologically damaged. They don't operate with the full range of human emotions; they experience a constant emptiness and flatness of being. They are riddled with insecurities and inadequacies which cause them great shame. To compensate for this, they develop alter egos – versions of themselves that are powerful, creative, beautiful, successful and wise. These are the personas they hope to project when interacting with you. To do this, they tell lies.

They are drawn to kind, empathic people like you. You feed them with your kindness and emotions. They know you'll consider their feelings, help them achieve their goals and likely be polite and pliable. The more powerful, rich and intelligent you are, the bigger the kick they get from manipulating you.

Identity

Narcissists want to obliterate your identity and replace it with their own version of what you ought to be. In their mind, they have created an army of perfect laborers, servants, guards, sponsors, stooges and sycophants.

At the moment, you are a defective, partially carved puppet, yet to be finished. If you have potential, they will chip away at any aspects of you they dislike, stick their hand up your proverbial backside and do your talking for you. You become an automaton.

Real people never live up to ideals created in the narcissisit's mind. This is why they are constantly dissatisfied, always tweaking, always noticing flaws.

If you want to make changes in your life, that's great, but make sure these goals are yours. Make sure your goals serve you first. You are number 1 in this. Beware of demoting yourself to being a pawn in the narcissist's game (more about flying monkeys tomorrow in Part 3).

Unless you have invited comments on how to improve, don't accept covert or overt attacks on any aspects of you. Anybody telling you how to write, speak, adjust your style, your hair, your friends, your house... is trying to infuse you with another identity. Uninvited! They are sapping your strength and belief in yourself as an autonomous human being. You become Frankenstein's monster, a wretched patchwork that resembles the thing you once were, but void of the essence of you. Beware anyone that exerts pressure on you to change who you actually are.

This is getting a bit wordy, so see Part 3 for more on power, ego, flying monkeys and more.

Thanks for reading. I hope this helps you avoid some of the pitfalls of playing with narcissists. If you can think of anything to add, you're invited to discuss this in the comments section below.

Enjoy your Steemit journey and be safe.

@AnjKara