Lesson 1 from Doesn’t Hurt to Ask by Trey Gowdy

One of your most valuable tools for persuading someone else is learning how to ask good questions.

Contrary to popular belief, effective persuasion isn’t just about being good at debating with your opponent. It is about listening, communicating, and sharing your beliefs in a way that is compelling. Have you ever actually changed your mind just because someone bombarded you with their opinions?

Questions are a great way to persuade others because they place the focus on the conversation with the other person and are good at avoiding defensive responses. The author himself only got into law after his friend’s mother asked him a series of good questions that made him think.

His plan had always been to get into construction after high school. But one day his friend’s mom asked what he was going to do, and when he told her, she asked a follow-up question. And then another one. And more after that. By the time he was done talking to her, he decided what he actually wanted to do was be a lawyer.

The funny thing is, his friend’s mom didn’t even give any of her own opinions in an effort to persuade him. What she did what let him persuade himself. That, Gowdy says, is the power of asking questions.

The author does clarify, however, that there is such a thing as a stupid question. For example, once during a robbery trial, Gowdy’s witness described a suspect with a blue bag in his hand. Immediately after, the author asked, “Okay, what color was the blue bag?” The laughter that followed that day can back up the notion that there is such a thing as a dumb question.

Still, the author believes that a stupid question is better than a stupid assertion. Typically, someone would trust a person who is uninformed before a person who is misinformed.