Three little Piggies Told By An 8 Year Old - Comedy Open Mic Round 28

in comedyopenmic •  2 months ago

I was visiting some relatives yesterday and they have an 8 year old child with a very active imagination. When I arrive I was smack dab in the middle of their story time telling.


Source

This kid asks me do I know any stories. I said, Sure, have you heard the one about the three little piggies. In which I get a reply, " Yes, do you want me to tell it " ? I said, " I sure do " ... as if I had a choice because regardless of my answer this kid was telling me her story regardless.

Source

She starts out by telling the original story. ( Here is a quick run-down of how she told the first part of the story ) Three pigs build a house each .. one of straw .. one of stick and one of brick. The big bad wolf blows down the first two houses and the pigs run away and escape to the third pigs house that was made of brick. The big bad wolf couldn't blow the brick house down. Now normally this is close to where the story ends but not with this kid.

Source

In this new improved edition of the three little pigs the third pig decides to kick out the other two pigs while the big bad wolf was still outside the door waiting for them. Luckily the two little pigs weren't noticed right away and they escaped to the woods.

Source

While the pigs were hiding in the woods they met little red ridding hood who was on her way to grandmas house so the pigs followed her. At the same time the big bad wolf met up with another wolf ( who was after little red ridding hood ) and together they came up with a plan.

Source

Together the two wolves caught up to the pigs and red riding hood. The first wolf ate one of the pigs and the second wolf ate the other but they were still hungry so they chased down red ridding hood and ate her to. ( At this point this kid has an evil grin on her face that looked like the below ).

Source

She even gave a 30 second pause and I thought to myself .. No way this is the end of her story and it wasn't ... she continued. The wolves were still hungry so they went to grandmas house and gobbled up grandma to. I was shocked ... and proclaim, " No Way ". This kids story had me hook line and sinker. I was amazed her story took such a dark twist.

Source

She continued, " Just as they were done eating grandma a huntsman kicked down the door to grandmas house and used an axe to cut open the wolves stomach and out popped the two little piggies. They ran as fast as they could back home to their mom and dad's house. Then out popped little red ridding hood and grandma to. The two wolves then ran away and everyone lived happily ever after.

Source

I was wondering if this kid was going to keep her dark story dark but she hit me with a happily ever after at the end !

...........................

...........

This has been an entry into Comedy Open Mic Comedy - Round 28. As per contest rules I must nominate two other Steemians. My two nominations this week are @takosdiary and@mellofello.

Steem-Ship : The Full Story ( $30 + In Prizes )

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Hi rentmoney,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

Judges:

If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

Hello @rentmoney, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

·

Awesome .. I always like seeing you stop by my blog.

  • Have a great day !

Free resteem+ upvote courtesy of @untapentuoreja

How's this happy? We end the story with two hungry wolves and traumatized old Lady, young red riding hoe and pigs.

·

The wolves went back to the forest ecosystem to help sustain balance. The old lady lived a boring dull life and welcomed the excitement. One more hoe in the world is a + in my book and as for the pigs .. .they were later turned into bacon and who doesn't like bacon. Sounds like a happy ever after to me.

·
·

Well the Jews probably weren’t happy about that.

·
·
·

As the o'l saying goes .... can't please everyone !

Congratulations @rentmoney! You have completed the following achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of comments

Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Do you like SteemitBoard's project? Then Vote for its witness and get one more award!

I love this post. Well done @rentmoney. Thanks for tagging me. I really want to participate but have not had a chance to come up with something funny or clever. Best of luck with this contest. I think you have a great shot with this awesome entry.

That kid’s devious grin sent chills through my body. Uhhhhhhhh, haha. Great find.

·

Thanks for the compliment. Its a weekly contest so if you ever decide to enter feel free to spam me with the link so I can check it out.

  • The gif of the kid gets me every time to.

Time to turn over the mic to the next generation @rentmoney haha

·

I think so to .. .. .

Wow..that was a great story and you are right that kids have a wonderful imagination. I also love how after being cut opened, the wolves still able to run away! Win-win :-)

·

Thanks ... you never know what a kid will come up with.

Someone might need to keep an eye on this child and whether or not the pets in the neighborhood are safe. Just saying 😲

·

Now that you mention it ... the farm down the road is missing two pigs and an axe .....

·
·
·
·
·

Did anyone check on grandma? It's a slippery slope

·
·
·
·

I have no clue ... .. I would ask but I don't want this kid to spot me going over to the farm. Who knows what she does to snitches.

·
·
·
·
·

Snitches get stitches. Everyone knows that and if she's small you may end up losing something important

·
·

Kids have quite the imagination sometimes.

Pretty inventive kid! :-) But, perhaps, watching a little too much Netflix?

·

That is very likely ... ..

What is this kid, an idiot? Who sewed or stapled the wolves stomachs closed? Was granny a veterinarian with a heart of gold? Also, how did all of these creatures get oxygen down there?

I don't know. I'm not buying it. Well, not all of it. The wolf blowing houses down seems feasible.

·

Everyone knows that cartoon land don't follow basic logic. Just ask wild e coyote super genius and he will let you know all about it.