Joke Pyramid - COM Round 28 Entry
Welcome to the Joke Pyramid. We start by telling a harmless kids joke and work our way to more intense / taboo or simply grotesque jokes. I know many jokes and I am uncertain where this road leads so if you hit a section of the pyramid that you find offensive then simply stop reading at that point as it will only get worse. I will kick start things and then we all keep the jokes going in the comment section. All jokes in the Post are Safe For Work. What will be posted in the comment section is unknown.
Level 1
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do lawyers wear to court ?
Lawsuits
Level 2
Lie Detecting Robot
One day a man decides to buy a lie detecting robot. Once his son gets home from school he decides to test his robot on his son and asks , " What were you and your brother watching late last night " ? The son replies, " A documentary ". The robot then slaps the son ( which indicates the son wasn't telling the truth ). " Ok .. Ok " the son replies, " We were watching Porn ". The Father laughs and says, " When I was your age I didn't know Porn existed ". The robot then slaps the father. Mom is watching all this and burst out laughing and says, " He certainly is your son ". The Robot slaps the mother.
Level 3
What does the sign on an out of business brothel say ?
Beat-it, we're closed
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms ?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
Level 4
Fighting A Gay Man
I could never fight a gay man.
"I'm gonna beat your ass...
I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up...
I mean I'll stick my foot so far up your ass..
No, not like that, I mean I will Fuck you up..
damn it, I give up
Level 5
Lonely Woman
A girl with no arms and no legs is sitting on the beach crying.
A man walks up to her and says "What's wrong?" She replies "I've never been kissed before." So the man kisses her, but she doesn't stop crying. A little frustrated he says "What's wrong now ? This time she replies " I've never been f@cked before." The man thinks for a second, and then he picks her up by and drops her into the ocean. He then yells to her "Well, you're f@cked now !"
Level 6
Dad: What do you want most in a woman?
Teenager : My dick.
Grounded and high five'd
The hooker can wash her crack and sell it again
Level 7
It's your turn to tell a joke in the comment section.... Lets keep the pyramid going.
...................
........
This has been an entry into Comedy Open Mic Comedy - Round 28. As per contest rules I must nominate two other Steemians. My two nominations this week are @onefatindian and@marcocasario.
Hi rentmoney,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Thanks !
What did Kermit the frog say when Jim Henson died? ........................................................Nothing
level one
Why did the tuna cross the road?
For the halibut
Good one !
Why do you call two lesbians on a canoe???
Fur traders
What do you call a lesbian with long nails ?
The below is what it was suppose to say and currently does.
The error joke ( when put in context ) is just as funny as the joke it self.
A girl asks her mother about sex and she replies with "go ask your father" now the girl is pregnant
You got me with that punchline. I never expected it.
😂😂😂
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Ottawa.
Ottawa who?
Ottawa know you're telling the truth?
Level 2
Parents should have a talk with their kids about sex as soon as possible. They might learn some stuff that they didn't know before.
Nice ... I never heard that one before.
why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Nice one . ...
How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.
I told my friend she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
I told my friend she
Was drawing her eyebrows too
High. She looked surprised.
- redheadpei
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.