How I Broke The Bed(It is not how you think it is.) Part 1 [Comedy Open Mic Round #9]

in comedyopenmic •  8 months ago



I'm back bitches!

I was away from steemit for a while because of exams, sickness and what not but now I'm back.

How have you been?

Did you guys miss me?

Who am I kidding? Of course you guys don't give a rat's ass, do you?

If you even give a teeny tiny percentage of a rodents butt, you'd upvote and resteem the shit out of this post. Otherwise you're just a fake fan.

Just kidding. But seriously though, do sprinkle some of the upvote juice onto me. Bathe me in it. Cover me up in that sweet sweet liquid of upvotes and drown me in it. I could ramble on and on to tell you to upvote me but you get the idea right?

Moving on, I would like to share a story that happened 2 years ago while I was in a hostel. Not exactly a hostel though, I was actually living as a paying guest in a room with 2 others(@iamsgr being one of them) and there were 2 more rooms with 3 people each.

We lived in the ground floor while the landlords lived on the first floor. Now it is important to remember that the landlords(and the landlady, can't forget the landlady) lived in the same building.


So this landlady was a very unique character. She is one of those people who once they start talking, you eventually want to rip your hand off and shove it in their mouth just so that they would stop. Its like their top lip and bottom lip have never met in ages. You might think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not.

I once went to the roof to put my clothes to dry out in the sun and I was stuck there for half an hour. Why you ask? Because bitching about the maid just couldn't wait. I'm not the kind of person proficient in the art of small talk so that felt like a mental version of my nails being peeled off. Slowly.

She was probably in her forties but sure looked 60 and was the kind of person built more for comfort rather than speed.

So now that you know the, let's move on to the story.

It was an evening like any other. Me and five other friends were just sitting, drinking tea and hanging out on my bed. We were just talking about college and some other random dumb shit. The kind of shit college students usually talk about.

One thing led to another and I got one of my friends in a choke hold while all the others were just sitting and talking one the edge of the bed. He pushed back and forth trying to get out and I heard a small crack, he pushed further and lo behold, the wooden plank on the side of the bed came tumbling down like Julius Caesar after his good old homie Brutus gave him the finger and stabbed the living shit out of him.

Oh what a fall it was!

The bed broke completely at the edge and there was saw dust everywhere. Now that I come to think of it, the bed was probably already on the verge to bite the dust.All it needed was a choke hold.

It took a few seconds for me to realize that I got myself in some deep trouble. And while I frantically thinking of somehow fixing this mess, the others just couldn't stop laughing.

I was desperately thinking of something to get out of this mess and while I was doing that, my friends were still hysterical. One guy snorted the tea he was drinking, one was rolling on the floor laughing or ROFLing as the kids say these days. It was a freaking mess!

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, there was a knock on the door.

Find out what happened in the next part.

Liked this story? Checkout #comedyopenmic for more such posts. Some of the guys are really funny.

I would also like to nominate @looftee and @varunsangwan to take part in this contest.

As they say give a man an upvote and you feed him for a day. Give a man a follow and you feed him for a lifetime(or as long as you don't unfollow).

So you know what to do.


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How can you leave us hanging like that, man? That's just...find out in my next comment.


You're learning.

Wow the suspense... I can't bare it. Stay tuned for my next upvote when you get the other half.


I'll be waiting for the upvote.


The suspense continues to build. I must hear the end. I will start punching baby kittens soon.


This upvote was a mistake


This comment was a mistake.


I think he just hooked you, @bitfiend.

XD Oh my gosh! That sounds unnecessarily intense :P
And I'm glad you're back, even though I didn't know a thing about you until five minutes ago. :D


I'm glad you took your time to make a comment here even though I didn't know about you until 5 minutes ago. :p

My organs are clapping . Kudos !!!!
Btw exams kese gye ?


Can only imagine how well you be multitasking for possessing such super power

No description of that could be better than this one 👌
@nilim was also there I guess


The real culprit

I know the whole story but still its.....eeh you know right


Shhhh! No spoilers!