The Rant: The F**kers Of Nigeria - Comedy Open Mic 11

Readers discretion adviced : These post contains strong and violent words. Warning: read at your own expense. Eveything you read here is real, it is not a drill, i repeat It is not a drill

Its 2018 and nothing has changed, all promise, all lies and still nothing. Am pissed, My f...ing country gat me pissed. Worse, they shitting and have built an entire building of tissues to keep shitting on me.
Just last week an old man with more responsibilities than his d..k can possibly handle called me lazy, Yeah Mr. President of my mother f...ing land called his youths lazy... now guess what, this nigga(am black too) has gat a daughter my age and she aint lazy, ohh no she aint, what do you call a university graduate without a job that earns more than a million dollar a year and ride a f..king Benz?
.... Failed!!! You call her a harlotworking bitch ass twart. Yeah thats right, after f..king us over they send there little ducklings to the UK and US to go pay crazy amounts as living expense and taxes, all from my denied hard earn right.

Now am sad, I put on the news (a dude has gat to be informed) then guess what, Breaking News: A suspended senator of the National zoo assembly was so pissed about his suspension, he got some thugs, walked into the national f..king assembly and bounced out of the building with their f..king maze, the so called symbol of authority while them representatives were having planery, damn thats the thug life brother, but hey... what can I say, we all know the Nigerian National Assembly is a blockbuster movie.

And they say denzel issa goal he aint sh.t, we gat a senator who jumped off a police van taking him in for questioning, can you beat that denzel, this is real stuff nigga (still a fan), we gat the realest OG's right in the Nigerian Government house, damn we lit.

I live in a country where outrageous lies are told, I mean .... here, listen to this sh.t, "mr president just came back from his 4 months health treatment in the UK, yet he hasn't returned to the presidential office, why is that sir?" Minister of information (Hon. Lai) "His office was infested with rats, we will be using 4 billion Naira to renovate the office". I mean, What the F..K, you are minister of f..king information you should be able to give a better lie for the misappropriation of our funds afterall your name is f..king LAI. Damn these people

Home, My sweet sweet nation, where revolutionaries are labelled terrorist and cattle herdsmen with AK47s given free lands and taxless permit by the government. Where sinners seek repentance after killing their citizens and stealing the country dry, congrats OBJ, you a scam

But they can bring me down, Hell No.
I'll find my perks and thrive, In all pandemonium there is bliss. Distractions I say to myself, I need distractions, with that in mind it's only natural i tune to the awful #BBNaija show, this year's was evermore awful, but hey distractions right. Then the silver lining, Bless up J.Cole your performance was lit, I had fun while it lasted.

My youths are still conquering, mine!! yes, not the country's, they disowned us. Amidst all the harsh conditions these old greedy bastard politicians left us, we still shine, we make sh.t for ourselves and build manure, we doing good peps.
let me use this medium to applaud some few youth montors of this regime, Respect @ejemai , you're the boss of steemit Nigeria, cause you gave us that convincing talk we needed as a push to be here, much love. Yoo @samstickks you did good man, those f..kers at AKS gat to build you a statue, but hey humility may just be the secret recipe. Ymodulus you aint here but you remain the boss, Nairaland owe you my registration, can't forget your stories bro, you live on(He is not dead).
So i say to my fellow youth not only nigerians.... africa, worldwide. We could do better than them predecessors, we will redesign sh.t they didnt build well and stand sh.t they forgot to build.
We are tomorrow.

drops mic
..............
Returns, pick mic

Speak of the devils,

The fkee has just had a meeting with the fker of Racism yesterday, this dude might have sold his country on ink without even knowing. Dumb f..ks

drops mic for good

I nominate @ubongj a brother in mother land and @holybranches a f**ker in father land to uphold the torch of my rant.

Images from twitter artists and google