In my search for a topic for the amazing, incredible, wonderful Comedy Open Mic contest and its VERY handsome/successful/beautiful/charming panel of judges, I looked at and subsequently discarded a great many ideas. Because I'm picky like that.

Sometimes, I look for inspiration in the murky depths of our Writers Block discord channels, just to see what hot button items are on the minds of our fantastic writers and editors. We really do keep our fingers on the pulse of steemit, after all. Well...our fingers are on something, that much is probably certain.

Scanning through the topics, let’s see what we have to pick from.

Ah, a discussion about @diebitch being a dictator. This is valid. She’s a dictator of comedy, a fascist of fun, a politician of playfulness. But that’s boring, so we won’t write about that. And it might seem like I’m sucking up, since I think she’s part of the COM judging (which is good, because she’s amazingly intelligent and awesome and successful and beautiful.)

Ahem. Moving on. Oo, this looks interesting. @crimsonclad talking about black anuses. No, not like that! Pervs, the lot of you! Upon further review, it’s actually about black star emojis that kind of look like anuses. Oh, and we just slipped sideways into a mention of Blackstar by David Bowie. Great, now @gmuxx is crying. This is getting awkward. Moving on…

There we go. The backscroll is providing some gold. Our puissant (it’s a compliment, go look it up!) editor-in-chief @bex-dk is talking about cutting off horse gonads. Ah, and she’s providing pictures. Fortunately, this is pre-slice-and-dice, and it’s not a closeup. The colt looks so happy….little does he know what will befall him. Wait...why am I talking about horse nads? And now I’m thinking about them, too. Dammit.

Scrolling to more current events...hm. Our wonderful @anikekirsten is describing some...very disturbing...imagery...oh gods...hide yo children, hide yo wife...Ah...Ok. I see. HR Giger. If you’ve never seen his work...don’t go looking for it.

Ok. The Writers Block chat is not going to inspire me to write something that will not get me banned, flagged, or NSFW’d. Damn, what the hell is wrong with us? Stay away from us. Far away.

Sorry.

Let’s go back to my original topic. That’s safe. Super safe!

_{"Hey...Bobby...what if I let go right now?"}

How to Win at Anything!

You see, kids, the key to winning is that you have to score more points than the other team.

Now go forth and succeed!

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I nominate @aksounder and @carn to make a funny post for Comedy Open Mic. Spreading the foot fungus is a community effort.

Title image created in Canva. Scary hill climbing boys photo from Pixabay. But you know not to click external links. Spoopy.