Just a S#!t Post. Comedy Open Mic 33

Ahhh, the joys of having poultry…

A few weeks ago, hubby brought a box pallet home from work. I initially thought it was for firewood, but no, he said that the big heavy thing would make a great shelter for the quail. “they'll love it!”

He was right, they do and they like to lay eggs right at the back of it. This thing comes up to my knees, so to reach those eggs I have to get on my belly and commando crawl on my forearms. The floor is gravel, so in the best circumstances it's a bit painful, in the worst there will be little presents left by quail which I'll put my hand or elbow in.

If I'm really unlucky, which I usually am to be honest, then it will be a cecal poop. For anyone who keeps poultry you'll know all about cecal poop! It's the foulest smelling poop and it's sticky to boot. The kind of sticky that does not wash easily. If you scrub it off with a brush, you'll then need to clean it off the brush. Even once you think you've got it all off you'll still be smelling it for the rest of the day.

Quail are tiny, and so are their poops. Chickens, however, are larger and their poops are larger to boot. In summer when it's hot, going into the chicken run with sandals leaves you vulnerable. Chickens have clawed feet and like to run around both under and over your feet. It can be a bit tender on bare skin and they sometimes deposit on the run. It's not the best of feelings. The painful digging in of clawed, but padded feet on the top of your foot, followed by a sudden oozing warmth. If you're lucky it's just a runny standard poop because they've been drinking lots in the heat, but if you're not (I'm usually not) it's a cecal one and it's going to take at least half an hour to get off!

cecal poops don't just come in the mustard colour shown above, they can range from brown to almost black. Also, when you actually want a cecal poop to photograph as proof of their existence, you generally can't find one! I had to be really quick with this photo before it got trodden in or dug in.

Incidentally, once they tread in such a poop they will usually decide they really want to jump on you. If it happens to be on their head, because they got pooped on from high, then they will likely decide they want to snuggle you.

... and no, I didn't follow my chickens around, waiting for them to poop... honestly...

~○♤○~

I nominate @thevillan and @realtreebivvy.

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