How to Get Popular on Insta! - Comedy Open Mic Round #23
If you're gonna have an Instagram account, you need to do it right. The goal is to look like you're really popular, even if you aren't.
How do I make myself look popular?
The trick to looking popular is having more followers than the amount of accounts you're following. Having lots of likes on your posts helps too.
How do I get all those followers?
But I have no money!
If you have no money to buy followers then you need to make people think you're so cool that you don't need to pay for your followers. In this situation you should still follow steps 1-4, but you'll need to revise step 5.
The next day, unfollow everyone that didn't follow you back and follow as many other accounts as you can. Repeat this daily until your followers outweigh your follows. You should also try to post an amazing picture of yourself at least once a day to keep your followers happy and craving more.
Hardly anyone is “liking” my pics. How do I get more likes?
The best way to get more likes is by paying for your pic to be sponsored. If you can't afford that, then...
....no, sorry, I've got nothing...
What's Instagram?
It's this app where you post pictures and...oh never mind...
I nominate @bashadow and @shaidon to give a @comedyopenmic entry a go.
Well after a year of having an instagram account and not using it, I have thought long and hard, decided that I don't care and am following your instructions for the steemit platform instead...
Ok so I've followed you, check.
Here's a problem, I don't know who the hell is actually following me. It's just a confusing number.
Delete all my old posts to look super cool... dammit, blockchain is forever! It's like all the tattoos of your ex girlfriends' names!
OK, so I thought your post was really funny but since I am a complete idiot at social media I have no way of actually verifying these theories. But that picture makes me want to trust you all the same... it's like a goldfish, with hair...
Big eyes means trustworthy for sure. We won't let you down!
(Please sign the disclaimer that we're not responsible for your lack of success and this method may not work on other social media sites.)
Now, precisely how many ex girlfriend tattoos do you need to delete?
Haha me? None, luckily! Big eyes= trustworthy. I think I'm getting the hang of this!
If those are not your knees what are those? Such NSFWs here haha.
I am LMAO.
But the good thing about insta is: atleast you get some likes.
Lol!
The photo is actually my daughter and she was saying that the thing to look cool and sexy would include showing some cleavage. Naturally, I said I wasn't going to post a picture of my daughter showing cleavage, so she sent this!
I found that to be pretty funny, I am not sure my funny will come across on a whole post or not, a short comment maybe, one liners and zingers, but a whole post, i am not so sure about, but something for me to think about after all I never thought I could write a story, but I am trying.
Yes, one liners are generally more my thing, but this is my third entry now, so if I can do I'm sure you can! My first attempt was a bit short.
I actually find that some of the longer winded ones can lose my interest, even though they often get better rewarded, so I stick with what I know, even if it's not as prestigious. ;)
Haha this is too accurate. I deleted Instagram ages ago because I hate how full of shit people are on there. All my work colleges would spend all day complaining about everything, but there Instagram profiles would be picture perfect. You forgot step #6 - never eat your food or drink your coffee without taking a photo of it first.
No, no, step six is there. You only post the food photos when you're already popular, dont you know. ;)
I sometimes think social media is like trying to be popular at high school Mean Girls style. I find it funny how some people's accounts evolve to try and fit the current "in thing." They delete any old photos that contradict it.
I actually still enjoy Instagram for all the crazy chicken friends I've made on there! I've never met any in person, though, so I don't know how genuine they are. Except for one who's evolved...lol
It is so true it's funny. I don't really do instagram these days, stern probably saved me from getting rid of it altogether
Thanks for the share of SBI dear @minismallholding, indeed it was a pleasant surprise
You're welcome. Good to hear your SBI enrollment is complete. I think they have a bit of a backlog at the moment.
Lol. I'm so glad I'm not young any more.
These things get so much less complicated past 40, don't they! Lol
Hoping 40 is the new 20.
Doesn't feel like it though...
That's our bodies! Lol. They can't take as much as they used to.
@minismallholding You have received a 100% upvote from @nothankyou because this post did not use any bidbots and you have not used bidbots in the last 30 days!
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Nice, trying this now brb.
UPDATE: Got banned lol
UPDATE 2: Wtf there are some crazy people outside my house wearing clothes that say...hey wait a minute...'I N S T'- Oh SHOOT they're Instagram's employees wtf send help, I think I'm goi-
is killed, until dead.
Oh bother! I should add a disclaimer!
Please sign that we accept no responsibility if this advice causes trouble, injury or death.
comes back to life
signs
dies back to death again
I don't have instagram, but may steal some of those ideas for our beloved
social mediaoops, blogging site. I need more popularity!Now I'm wondering if we have follow4follow tags. 🤔
While instagram does give me a lot more 'likes' and does attract randoms, it does in fact attract bots and fake followers. I downloaded an unfollower app to see who was unfollowing me (I got sick of the numbers fluctuating).
It's quite heartbreaking to see that the people you think are friends often aren't. But that's what happens with internet friendships.
I try to avoid even looking at who's following or unfollowing. I don't want to head down that rabbit hole! I do give new followers a quick look to check they're not posting dodgy stuff or plagiarising.
Yeah. It's trap that's not worth going down. It's better to focus on creating better content I guess.