WHY I ANSWERED MY GRANDMA'S QUESTIONS IN A STONED WAY (LEARN FROM A LEGEND) {Comedy Open Mic 21}

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It seems like old age often comes with a little of peckishness, because I thinks the memory is tampered a bit, which makes old people tend to forget things so easily as if they were high on weed from Jamaica. I remembered my grandma on a particular Sunday afternoon telling me to get her orange juice in q glass, I came back fifteen minutes with it and she asked me why did you bring a glass of juice I said Shit, but you asked me to bring it, she replied with a zombified face what is Shit I said it's an exclamation, and she asked me why I'm using an exclamation for an elder I said no never mind granny I'll just drink the juice and she angrily asked if she gave me the permission to drink it?

You know that face you make when you're frustrated, but you just smile like a donkey in order to cover it? Yes I had it. However I was surprised when my parents called and asked me to take my granny to England, she seems to be talking to the people on TV whenever she's watching American Idols, my Dad however feels it's the loneliness, but I told him it's not loneliness but old age, it comes with terms and conditions and one of them is talking to people inside the TV.

I knew her going to England is a bad idea but in Africa even if you're right you have the right to remain wrong and any attempt to argue with your father may bring your unsolicited slaps in public you know the one that makes Tom in Tom and Jerry see stars
That's rule 257 of the African father's code principle against their children.

Before we got to England, Heathrow She was already screaming at the gigantic frog I took her into that's of course the airplanes, she described the aeroplane as a giant vulture with wings that swallows people and I'm not suppose to laugh, it may earn me a curse from the ancestors.

We we're touring around, and she kept making Squints, when she saw a double decker bus, she asked me why they decided to build a second steory building ontop a bus, I then told her it was because the people ontop are asthmatic and they need air on the bus, so they sit on top of the open roof bus secondly it was because the people ontop are richer than those under. I surprised myself with laughter and she was surprised I had become so wise, it was not long we came across those English men with long red caps standing like statues, she then asked why there were so many statues in England, then I told her it was the governments way of eradicating poverty for the statues family, she was surprised statues had families.

I was beginning to enjoy myself when she asked me why their skin looks so like the moon, I told her they're the cousin of the people she normally see on TV, she then asked me why there are no bombs and guns just like she saw on TV, I told her it was because that day was their gun free holiday day. It wasn't winter so it wasn't snowing I would have to get a class and a proper teaching material because I'd know she'd asked me what are the ingredients for making snow.

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I nominate @dreemsteem and @tegoshei to participate

Thank you for reading

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