Comedyopenmic Round 28 - The King is known

"Honey, I've made a terrible mistake."

Src

Memories involving a similar phrase and a duck came flooding in. Why was it that the burden of leadership was thrust upon him? His sister was a far better match. She at least wasn't the laughing stock of the town because of a simple misunderstanding between a fisherman, a mallard, 3 feet of twine and a bridge builder. If only...

"^_Phyllis...Phyllis...PHYLLIS"
"Yes dear?"

Snapping back to the present Phyllis began to take stock of what happened. At least this time it wasn't as bad, and in his defense it was the Vicar's fault for allowing the sacramental wine to leak into the watering trough. After all, breeding alcoholic wood peckers is just asking for trouble. The meth addicted badgers were bad enough, but if you have too much to drink and walk past the church, these guys just go to town on your liver. It's a horrible thing to watch, there aren't any comfortable seats, the popcorn is usually stale, and they aren't allowed to serve alcohol... for obvious reasons.

"Look Phyllis, just take me through what happened slowly, I'm about to jump on my horse an come down to get that USB stick off you. Just take me through it"

_{Wait up, why was Darryl getting on a horse, when USB sticks are a thing? this writer isn't very smart surely Darryl would grab her high heels and climb up into a Lambo, or something with more gusto than a horse... Come on dude, think faster}

"Oh Buddha! This alternate reality isn't at all what I thought it would be. Why aren't we millionaires surrounded by beautiful people who are too poor not to do what they're told. Ok, well listen and ride but watch out for the lollipop ladies, you know it's that time of the year."
"Ok Ok! just let me put you on hands free so I can ride buttercup in peace, best investment I made was getting the top of the range Gerald Clidesdale..."
"__Darryl! __ Can I?"
"Yes, of course"
"Right, so we were at church like always, and Vicar Dalby, brought out the wine, naturally the peckers were all caged you know how they go nuts for the Jeasus Juice. But this time he brought it out in a massive barrel and put it near Woody's cage. Since it was such a large barrel me and Johno... No Johno... JOHNO... JOHNOO!!... yes so me and Johno went around a few times, and the vicar didn't realize because he was feeling particularly parched that day and blessed himself a fair bit. Well Johno decided it would be fun to watch the birds again and opened their cage. Now this is the really interesting part... Oh you're here... Ok, Please take me home."

Darryl

I would like to nominate those who have yet to be nominated. @timcliff I know you have a funny bone in your somewhere, please come let it out. @gtg come show timmy how it's done.