I get it man. I was the younger of 2 brothers and My older brother wanted nothing to do with me except use me as a punching bag most days. My dad was in and out of jail a lot and that pretty much equalled out to me getting to fight with my brother and his asshole friends that were all 3 to 5 years older than me. My mom was ussualy at work so I got to fend for my self most days. Looking back on it it made me a much tougher person. You gotta take what life gives you and use it. If you are a good person don't let anyone change that. Some of us are just different. Some of us are just broken people. A lot of the brothers dynamic changes as you grow up. My brother tries to make amends once in a while but at the end of the day I am thankful for how it all went down. I am a stronger person for it and I can defend myself and my family. I hope everything goes better for you as you guys age and if you take nothing else from this I feel like you learned that you will never be into Erotic asphyxiation.