Nuclear bomb? Hide under your desk.

Lets start off by saying i grew up in the Regan era when i was in grade school. They use to have us run nuclear bomb drills where they had us hide under our desks.......

Yeah let that sink in for a moment, I was hiding under a desk made out of fucking plywood from a nuke. Who the fuck was in charge of this program? How were they not aware of what a bomb does, let alone a god damn nuclear war head exploding near by. We would have been nothing more than a shadow burned into a wall. Maybe that was the point. It would be less traumatizing for people to see burnt shadows of what appear to be potatoes rather than small children shadows burned into your walls.

Be a winner

This was a shifty ass program the government ran where they used a dog puppet in a trench coat to try and get you to snitch on your parents for using drugs. Fuck straight off. I ain't trusting any mother fucker wearing a trench coat and has a hand shoved up his ass.

Everytime they would talk to us they would tell us how people were going to push drugs on us. I should sue the fuck out of these assholes. I came into adult hood totally unprepaired for the fact that I would have to buy my own drugs. These tards made it out to be like assholes were giving out hits of acid and extacy like i was walking through Sams club getting free food samples. I was totally unprepared.

Participation trophies

I am not sure when this came about but it snuck in somewhere in my lifetime. Why in the hell are we giving people trophies for loosing? Do you get a different trophy for being the biggest looser? No wonder we have an entire generation of safe space having sissys that can't figure out what fucking bathroom to use. Who gives a shit where you defecate. I have 100% never ever ever looked over the stall wall next to me to make sure if the person had a dick or not. What if we just met in the middle and put a urinal in the ladies room? I will give you a news flash, If you want to act like a guy then just piss in the trash can, sink, hand dryer, or outside on a tree. That is what we do. There is really no need for a mens bathroom, the world is our urinal.

Our priorities are fucked

Look around us. You can be 18 and it is completely okay to go shoot brown people in a desert but you come home and cant buy a beer for another 3 years because you don't have any responsibility. You can go to the beach and women walk around in dental floss with tiny eye patches over their nipples and crotch but if you accidentally see them in some granny panties and bra they act like the world is going to end and you must overt your eyes. the #metoo movement takes on a whole nother meaning when you are old enoughto remember the # sign as the POUND sign. Think about it. Also I can access porn on my phone at literally any moment but god forbid a lady take out her boob to feed her screeching little devil child and plug it's noise hole with a tit. Fuck it, whip that titty out. I can promise you one thing, I am going to look. I have seen plenty of pregnant chick boobs and they are awesome but I have to warn you. They don't stay that way. I love big ol boobies but if you hook up with a pregnant chick with "C" cups be prepared to wake up to an "A" cup some morning.

Even if they stay big noone prepared me for gravity. They should have had us looking at a set of really nice boobs, then an after photo 30 years later when they look like 2 hard boiled eggs in a couple tube socks would have been a much better explanation of gravity in science class rather than an apple falling on a guys head. Guys, invest in some nice bras for your wife, either that or get real comfortable with National Geographic boobs. Nothing will ruin your day more than a sad boob with its nipple pointing at the ground. Nipples up = Thumbs up.