Naughty Kitty! (Comedy Open Mic Entry Round #26)

Kim Kitty, get down from there, you can’t sit on the whole map square
I know you’re the greatest most glorious cat, so smart and so pretty and in no way fat
But really Kim Kitty, this is just too much, I get that you run things and are oh so tough
But NO! Kim Kitty! You can’t eat that, that’s the food for the proletariat!

Salt shakers, glasses, denuclearization, pawed off the table in affrontation
You're the naughtiest kitty I ever knew, letting people worship you
Alas poor kitty, you have ended up alone, sat up there on your big shiny throne
To rub your tummy people have to get near, course they don't when they live in fear!

Now Kim Kitty I know it isn’t jealousy, which makes you act irrationally
The way people praised his park, gave you no choice but to tear it apart
Executing him was probably a good shout, you can’t risk that niggle of doubt
He abused his authority, you’re too fair and wise to just let that be!

Your big red button begs to be pressed, who could resist an unsanctioned test
But dearest Kim Kitty I simply can’t endorse, you not letting me ride on your one horned horse!
We both know if I was truly being objective, I’d invite you to join the World Domination Collective
So please be a lamb and try to lie low, until the grand domination plan’s ready to go!

I have been working on this for a while, having been nominated for COM a few times, and always baulked, cos I am just not funny, but @hazem91 has been encouraging me with this one so when @diebitch nominated me, I came back to it. I am still not certain about it, but if I don't post it now, I may just chicken out again. I know technically affrontation isn't a word, but an affront is exactly the right feeling for how kitties push things off tables whilst maintaining eye contact!

This is my entry to @comedyopenmic Regular Contest - nominating @hazem91 and @gaby-crb - give it a go!

_{The World Domination Collective are yet to agree on a name, so far they have been tempted to steal The Guild Of Calamitous Intent but feel they can come up with something better, open to suggestions. They are a collection of plush Alpacasso alpacas that let me live in their house. They are led by Edwin (he has come back for another go at making weapons of death), Herbert (who is so good at coming up with ways to wipe out a species), Mikhail (who despite outward appearances, did spend his entire life perfecting his mass killing machine, something he feels he can still improve on) and Mareta (who's experience in picking out landing spots for the first manned mission to another planetary body will come in handy down the line...)}

Photo Credit - it isn't hard to tell I made this lol, from this image of the flag from Pixaybay and this kitty cat from Pixabay - this is a different image to I first posted it with, sorry if it's confusing but I wasn't sure about it :)