Perhaps we should teach these yokels how to laugh at themselves. I am a proud member of the Garden Gnome Society. In fact, its president. At Thanksgiving, my two-year-old granddaughter saw a garden gnome on a shelf in my living room (it's a bookend) and said, "Poppy!" Obviously, she's referring to me. Does it in the hard, too. At 5'7-1/2" tall, I have a salt-n-pepper beard a little on the long side with a balding crown and a pot belly. I am the poster image for short plump balding men. Do I do cry about it? Nope. I laugh at it. And am the proud owner of a website named Garden Gnome Publications. Short round men get no respect. Big deal.

How's the weather up there?