Comedyopenmic 32 Entry: How many grams does Instagram weigh?

I'm not going to lie to you right now, I'm extremely pissed off. The past few days have involved me traveling across Nigeria by bus because I'm too poor to afford a flight and though I'm stranded somewhere that's 12 hours from home, I can't complain. As you know, I'm steeming towards my education and these travels were actually geared towards that; I attended a screening/interview for the program I'd like to embark on and it went well, bar one or two uncomfortable moments that occurred before and then during the interview respectively. The first issue was the secretary, I kid you not when I say she had a butt for days; she wore "serious pants" that were tighter than a straight man's asshole at a homosexual convention(never mind what he was doing there). The second uncomfortable moment was when I was asked how I was going to pay for the program and I replied "steeming". The interviewer smiled and wrote some shit down so I think I did alright.
Now back to my normal life but still struggling to use the internet because my service provider doesn't have coverage here, I'm in bed, minding my business and sad to be sober. There's some sort of crisis(which loosely describes a means for security operatives to launder money) here and all the alcohol spots have been shut down because alcohol is the solvent that dilutes the senses of the masses. Yet, I still smile, just minding my business, contemplating between masturbation and watching anime or both(if you consider hentai) and I made a rather grave error, I opened my Instagram

I don't quite understand how social media work anymore, I mean, I use to think it was meant to connect people with similar interests and all but I think its all just fuckery. My travails with relationships and womenhas been chronicled numerously on this platform, while I'm not proud of it, I've become a little bit of the Grinch for romance and all that love type stuff, so it was baffling to find that a woman who has been married for 5years followed me. Now let's get some things into perspective, firstly, I don't know her, she's neither a childhood friend, relative or someone I've seen naked and neither does she sell anything nor do I, as you can obviously see
Honestly, I'm hardly ever there, I browse through every now and then to remind myself of how much better everyone's life is as compared to mine but I'm often greeted by married ass women and weird Asians following me. Now the problem is not the race, the problem is, if I can't fuck you or do business with you, I don't see why you follow me, yet they do and now I have to jerk off with your photos. Yet again, I nominate @dj123 and @trumpman to make entries for this special COM week.