Comedy Open Mic #18 Entry 2

Some of you guys struggle. I know. Some of you married young. Now you see a pretty girl crossing the street, or in the restaurant booth next to you, and you wonder if you are missing out on something better.

You see a knob of bacon and you want a taste.

Just remember this, and it comes from a voice of experience, that knob of bacon has likely been drug across the floor more times than your basement mop. Sure, it has been washed off, but no matter how many times you hit a knob of bacon with the hose, it will never taste right after being repeatedly slung over your laundry room floor.

And, ladies, I won't even get into why you need to keep away from that wretched man burger.

So, all of you, you are not missing out on something better. Be true to your girl, or your guy. You chose your dinner. Now add a little pepper and eat. It is a relief, really.

Thank you for reading.