A Beautiful and Helpful Boyfriend
By The Invisible Man
A Christmas Song

Last Christmas, I gave you my glasses
But the very next day, you stomped all over it
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Lube McCock

I'm dreaming of a friendly Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the hickeys glisten and parents listen
To hear Father Christmas chuckle in the snow

You were intelligent
You were kind
Monarch of Cape Town
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
The crowd were swinging
All the parents they were singing
You asked me to spin
And then we did skip

But then last Christmas, I gave you my glasses
And the very next day, you stomped all over it
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Lube McCock instead

You're grubby
You're condescending
Happy Christmas to you
I pray God it's your last

Rockin' around the Christmas garden tree
At the Christmas party hop,
Rockin' around the Christmas garden tree,
Let the Christmas spirit ring,
Later I'll have some cake
And me and Lube McCock will skip

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about shiny necklaces
I just want Lube McCock for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is Lube McCock

Oh, Lube McCock yeah, oh Lube McCock yeah
Lube McCock the boyfriend is a beautiful, helpful soul
Lube McCock the boyfriend is a fairy tale they say

Lube McCock baby, I want you and really that is all
I'll wait up for you, dear
Lube McCock baby, won't you skip with me tonight?

So here it is, friendly Christmas
Everybody's here to spin
Look to the future now
It's only just begun

Simply having a friendly Christmastime
Simply having a friendly Christmastime

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman