Wanna hear my sexual fantasy?

Wanna hear my sexual fantasy?

Too bad, I'm gonna tell it anyway.

Our deep conversation about our favorite cheeses and the meaning of squirrels leads to a gentle kiss. We both know what's going down, it's business time. It quickly escalates from there. As we become more roudy my dogs take notice, decide they want to play as well and begin pawing at us and barking in an attempt to get our attention. I stand up and grab your hand an lead you to my room. I've been planning this for months, practicing moves increasing my athletic ability. I set you on the bed and I tell you I need to go get ready. As I leave I dim the lights and shut the door. I'm only gone but a moment and soon there is smoke coming from above the door. At first you panic until you realize it is from a smoke machine. As the curiosity grips you, two small directed lights illuminate the doorway and some oddly familiar intro music begins to play quietly and crescendo. A Mexican grito plays over the speakers and the trumpets blast! The door bursts open illuminating me in the door. An announcer comes over through the speakers, "OH MY GOD IT'S SEAN CENA!" The music fades out. You think for a moment it's over, but to your surprise it is not. With out saying a word I throw you over my shoulder and spin you around 360° and slam you onto the bed. You don't know how to react. You don't know whether to be scared or laugh. I jump up onto the bed standing above you. YOU CAN'T SEE ME. I help you stand up and in your confusion I pick you up in a fireman's carry and slam you down onto the bed in a driver type of maneuver. If you care to know that is the signature maneuver, the Attitude Adjustment. You decide it's safest to submit and you tap the bed as an indication of your defeat. Then I proceed to disappoint you for three minutes (personal record). As I lie there exhausted with my eyes shut you slowly stand up on the bed, not to disturb me. I had fallen for your trickery. You jump up and come down hard with an elbow to the chest! Knocking the wind out of me! As I'm gathering myself you grab me by the hair and slowly guide me to stand up. I don't know what's going on here. All of these months of planning and I never expected this. Out of nowhere you leap up on my shoulders like a godamn spider monkey! I try to break loose, but you increase the pressure like a python the more I struggle. Soon I begin to stammer and before I completely buckle you release and fall off to the safely. I stagger step and lose my footing and fall off the bed and crack my head on the nightstand.

I die.

Fin.