Comedy Open Mic Round 11, Entry 1: Dave and Brent; Pigeon Politics
This post was long overdue, however here it is and this is my entry for the #comedyopenmic. This was made with much effort and I'd like to nominate @clumsysilverdad and @tamurah for this.
Dave, a pigeon sits atop a tree branch located in a garden behind a house. He sees CNN, BBC, SKY News being watched by the owner of the house and sighs. Brent, another pigeon arrives at the scene and joins Dave.
Brent: Hey Dave, why you so glum looking today.
Dave: I'm just sighing at how stupid humans are.
Brent: Agreed...these mammals, Lack basic function that all creatures must have. Lust for worms and breads.
Dave: No! Not that moron! I see so much chaos in the human world, the so called strongest country in the world have elected a man with bad hair dye to be their president.
Brent: Aah you mean Homer Simpson
Dave: No I mean Donald Trump!
Brent: I thought he was businessman?
Dave: He was, now he isn't anymore
Brent: So what is he?
Dave: The President!
Brent: Of what?
Dave: AMERICA!
Brent: Oooh, so why are we talking about him?
Dave's eyes blazed with fire as anger rose inside of him.
Brent: Dave! Dave! Dave!
Dave: WHAT!
Brent: I shat on his face!
Dave: What...?
Brent: Yeah, he was on this TV show called the Apprentice and he fired my favourite contestant.
Dave: Forget it....
Brent: Although his wife is really hot
Dave: She is, although she isn't a fan of him, I've seen videos of her slapping his hand away from her on pigeon tube.
Brent: The Pope did it as well!
Dave: When?
Brent: In the Video....
Dave: Oh sod off you peanut.
Brent: But..But..
Dave looked furious but then calmed his nerves.
Dave: It's alright, come here you big idiot
They hug and make up
Dave smells something funny
Dave: What's that smell
Brent: Oh I laid an egg
Dave: You what! Get away from!
Brent: What this was a moment and I wanted to fart for so long, I thought I'd do it whilst your nostrils where in my breasts.
Dave: Shut up!
Brent: Okay...
And that's it folks Check back for more.
Photo source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/animal-animal-photography-avian-beak-185955/
Pigeons! Always so smug with their bohemian lifestyle of scavenging bread and crapping from a great height. Better at political analysis that the average journalist though,so I can't be too hard on them.
I want to buy Brent a beer.
Could he please shit on my own president?
He's underage
But give him some sweet bread and he'll go on a shitting spree.
(He charges per shit)
I'll need to test the quality of the shit before I pay
I'll send him, just make sure he's back by 10.
This is pretty much the intelligence level of all political talk. Thanks.
By the way, please put the Comedy Open Mic, the round number, and entry (1 or 2) in the title. I know it is a lot, but it is the only way the judges can keep things in order. Thank you.
Oh sorry about that, I definitely will 😊
Perfect. Thanks.
This was really fun to read, and there's food for thought... Well done bro. and thanks for nominating me, I'll try my best to honor your trust ☺