Hahaha thanks! That may or may not be because I didn't realize until I wrote the last sentence of the first paragraph that I was going to write a comedy piece at all. :p Had I known I probably would have done a much lamer job of setting it up. (Lamer? Is that a word? Google dictionary says yes, but I'm skeptical.)

This is why I love freewrites. I think I'm about to write a couple of mediocre paragraphs in comment form that I'm going to post on the @freewritehouse prompt just so they don't kick me out of their contest, and then something weird materializes and I'm like, OH, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS. I LIKE THIS.