Short goofy climate change musings - [Short comedy]

I sometimes suck at comedy. I am thinking of some things I find amusing at the moment. If I fail. Sorry, it isn't my strong suit.

QUESTION: If the world were not actually warming why might you want to take steps to counter global warming?

ENTREPRENEUR: We're all out of land, it's all owned, every inch. It's too expensive to get to into space. Hmmm... an Ice Age, we need an ice age. If the ocean levels decrease just imagine all that coastal property waiting to be seized... Yep. Time to go make a documentary.

QUESTION: If the world is heating up, why might we want to accelerate the heating?

CONSPIRACY THEORIST ENTREPRENEUR: Well there is evidence that the pole shifted in the past. They've found plant seeds and life frozen in Antarctica that indicates at least parts of it were not frozen at all in the past. If we warm up the earth we can melt some of that and have access to new lands and potentially discoveries beneath the ice.

NUTTY ENGINEER FRIEND: Wouldn't it be easier if I just made something so we could cause another pole shift?

C.T. ENTREPRENEUR: Make sure we sell off any assets in areas that would be devastated by the pole shift first, but if you can do it that might indeed be faster.

I'll leave you with that goofy imagery as I depart with the Pinky and the Brain theme song running through my head.