College 101: Being Lonely

If this is your first year at a new University and you have moved away from home, you can consider your life as starting over. You have no friends, and worst, no acquaintances. It can be a frustratingly lonely experience at times, and you just have nobody to hang out with when it gets tough.

You just don't have your regular people

Many times most students are forced into randomly living with a few roommates, and along with being lonely, there is a natural awkwardness at first. A lot of students get very depressed during their first semester or year at a new university due to the massive change in lifestyles. High school is over, and your sports buddies or smoking friends are in a different area, which can tempt students to move back home. 

I can definitely relate to my first semester after high school. I did what I am going to recommend not doing. I had a car (not everyone does) so every weekend I would go to my hometown (1.5hrs away) and hang out with my high school friends. I would drink and party with them on the weekends and then head back to campus on Sunday nights. I sure had fun being back at home, but I missed out on the opportunities to meet people at my new home. 

This is something you shouldn't do. You should stick it out, and try to find ways to meet people on campus to become your new friends. In my situation, I left every weekend, and basically was never home during the week because of school and work, so I never really hung out with my roommates. So they never really invited me to do stuff with them. At the time I really didn't care, I thought they were dorks, but after looking back on it; I probably would have enjoyed myself if I would have got to know them.

Even if your roommates suck, they will ultimately lead you into meeting more new people that you might connect with. It's always a good idea to find a way to enjoy living with your roommates. They can also be a great support and help curb those feeling of being lonely

If you’re more than stuck on campus, like many students are, you may not have a car. So your only option is to make friends. The first few weeks of the semester are the perfect opportunity to do this let me go over some "Friend making" tips.

-Class-

People from class are your first and best opportunity. You will naturally see them almost every day and probably work on projects outside of class. If you have a lab, you will most likely have partners to do the work with and you will have to stay in communication. These are perfect opportunities to gain lasting friends that will most likely take many more classes with you in the future. Long term friends that you "trust" are what cure loneliness. This also includes girl/boyfriends that you may have left before making it to college. You need to find people you can trust and building long lasting relationships during the years ahead.

These classmates will most likely be your "new" people you will begin to hang out with.

-Student Organizations-

When you join an organization, you will find people with the same shared interests. You will instantly be able to show your personality while working closely with other students. You will also see these people on a regular basis on and outside campus, even more so if you join a fraternity or sorority. I definitely recommend joining a student group, not only will you be representing the University but you will, without a doubt, find new friends. 

-Events-

A lot of times the university will host events. Obvious ones are sporting events, but they will also host a huge variety of events on campus that are basically for people to meet each other and have a fun time. The college I go to has Laser Tag tonight; yup you heard that right,

Laser Tag

Next week they have an art gallery showing, and a dance. 

The campus also has a student recreation area where there is bowling and a movie theater. Many bigger universities have a great student rec center that includes these and more, and during the semester they have "free" days. These can be great ways to meet people outside of the classroom.

Universities know that it can be very lonely for new students and so they try hard to incorporate events and ways for people to meet. Remember this one little saying

Chances are if you’re new and lonely, the new person next to you feels the same way

You need to get up and get out. 

College presents the chance for you to do some soul searching. You can forget your high school past and all the people you never liked, or you can miss them to death. But it's best to realize those days are done, and your future lies waiting ahead. 

This is the time to Experiment.

Do things you wouldn't normally do. Take a random class to learn about something you never really cared about. Pick up a guitar and become a rocker. Learn to longboard or surf or chase butterflies. Become a photographer. Just do something!

It all will help with the lonely, depressed feeling you’re having. Remember,

You’re not alone; almost everyone is like you right now.

The first month in college is hard. But soon enough, if you get out and enjoy yourself, other people will want to enjoy themselves with you, and you will realize how amazing the college years can be.  

Thank you for reading and up voting. Comments are always welcomed.

-all photos were taken from google images under "labeled for reuse".