以德報怨 - 真的是傳統中國文化嗎? | Return good for evil - Is it a traditional Chinese culture?

今天想要跟大家分享一個在昨天發生的事情。事源是這樣的，我有一個挺好的朋友，他不久之前從工作了五年的公司辭職了，開設了一間貿易的公間。但是早陣子他簽下了一張外國的單子，原本以為可以賺一筆的，但最後被推倒了，反倒要蝕一筆錢。

I would like to share something happened yesterday. I have a friend who quit his job previously and started his own business. Recently, he got a foreign job order, and originally thought he could make some money on it. But finally the other side just turned down everything by their own without any discussion, and he will lose certain money by this.

我跟幾個朋友和他一起研究了一下，覺得是可以交給律司處理的。但是他說了一句:“我們中國人的傳統文化就是以德報怨，這件事算了吧，當我自已不小心的過失。”聽了之後我真覺得他真是大量。但是當他說到中國傳統文化是以德報怨這一點，我就不敢糾同了。我馬上給他上了一課，在這裏分享給大家。

Me and some of my friends have studied the case with him and think the case could pass to lawyer for follow up. But he said “the Chinese traditional culture teach us 以德報怨/ return good for evil and just let this thing go. I will treat it as my careless mistake.” I personally think he is so generous, but when it comes to whether it is a traditional Chinese culture for 以德報怨/ return good for evil I don’t really agree with it. And I give him a lesson immediately.

Remark: 以德報怨 have many English example, like "repay injury with kindness", "requite evil with good", etc.

以德報怨在我們今天的意思就是指以自己的德行報答人家的惡行，簡單一點來說就是指不記別人的仇，反倒給他好處。但這個真的是中國的傳統文化、老祖宗的教導嗎?讓我們來看一下這句話的出處。以德報怨這一句出自《論語‧憲問》，原文 ：「或曰：『以德報怨，何如？』子曰：「何以報德？以直報怨，以德報德」。意思大概就是，弟子問:：「我們應該以德行報人的惡行嗎? 」孔子就說: ：「我們要是以德行報答了別人的惡行，哪我們怎麼報答別人對我們的德行啊?還對得起人家嗎? 所以我們應該以直率報答別人的惡行；以德行報答別人的德行。」

The meaning of 以德報怨/ return good for evil nowadays is simply that we react something good to the person who treat you bad or do something bad to you. But is it a traditional Chinese culture and teaching? Let’s find the origin for 以德報怨. The word came from 《Confucian Analects》「或曰：『以德報怨，何如？』子曰：「何以報德？以直報怨，以德報德」. The meaning of the sentence is a student asked Confucius that should we return good for evil? And Confucius said if you return good for evil, what can you return for good? How can you face those who treat you good? So, we should return straight to evil, good to good.

所以，根據我們孔老夫子的教導，我們根本不應該以德報怨，是應該以直報怨。所以傳統的中國文化根本沒有以德報怨這回事。我給我的朋友說了這段話，他說這可以文化衝擊啊，他可從來未聽過。直到我上網把資料都搜出來後他才真的相信了。我心裏是覺得有一點可惜了，到底為何以德報怨會演變成今天大部份人理解的這個意思呢?到底是古人書讀得不好? 還是被人故意混淆過去?這大概又是另一個故事了。

So, from our old man, we should not return good for evil, we should return straight to evil. And the traditional Chinese culture does not have the issue of return good for evil. After I told such thing to my friend, he said that it is a culture shock for him. He never heard about such thing. He only believed me when I online searched such information to him. I feel kind of unfortunate; the reason for such wrong understand is because of the old man studied not hard working enough? Or which is subjectively distorted by someone? I think it will be another story.

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