求不得，放不下|月旦评---chasing not and can't let go

佛曰：“人生有八苦，生、老、病、死、爱离别、怨长久、求不得、放不下。”

Buddha said: "Life is eight bitter, birth, old age, sickness and death, love parting, complain long, seeking not, can't let it go."

18年1月已过中旬，而17年的总结似乎永远都写不了。因为这个人，这件事，贯穿了整个2017.

It's already in the middle of January 2018, while the summation of 2017 seems never to be written. Because the one throughout the whole of 2017, who I avoid to face.

17年10月底的时候，和长老去日本玩了一周。我们去了关西的大阪、京都和奈良。当有天我可以心平气和的打开相册的时候，我想我会整理出来这片游记。关西真的很美，食物也很好吃。

At the end of October 2017, I went to Japan with my friend for a week. We went to kansai, such as Osaka, Kyoto and Nara. Maybe I'll write an article about that trip, when I feel much better. Kansai is really beautiful and the food is delicious.

在京都的桂川边，我和长老写了下面这首诗。（他写前两句，我写后两句）

On the edge of Katsura River in Kyoto, I wrote the following poem with him. (He wrote the first two sentences, I wrote the last two sentences)

一叶枫叶卧桂川

两岸凤黯啼得欢

三更归梦三更后

四目相对竞开颜

（诗首发于我的blog：http://nostalgic1212.org/index.php/2018/01/07/poetry/）

都说，一对情侣在长途旅行中，没有争吵，没有“三观”不和，没有生活习惯出入，也没有发生手机是“潘多拉”魔盒这类事情的话，一般两个人是可以走下去的。

It is said that when a couple is traveling long distances, there is no quarrel, no concept discord, no lifestyle conflict, these two people are generally allowed to be together for a long time.

大概我，是证明这句话是错的，最好的证据吧。

Maybe, I am the best proof which prove the sentence is wrong.

在确诊以后，我以为我已经可以在现实世界里，切断和人的交流。因为我觉得，不产生关联，就不会有牵绊。没有牵绊，就不会受伤。

After the diagnosis, I thought I could cut off the communication with people in the real world. I think, without association, there will nothing to be tied. Without a tie, I will not be hurt.

但我做不到的。

But I can not do that.

在医院，看到一对老夫妇。老奶奶带着老爷爷来看病的，似乎他们是第一次来这家医院。两个人牵着手，微微颤颤地走到收银台。我让他们“插队”到我前面，并且付款结束后带他们去药房取药。老奶奶笑眯眯地说，谢谢你啊，小姑娘。

In the hospital, I saw an old couple. An old lady kept complain with her hunsband to see a doctor. It seems that they were the first to come to this hospital. They slightly trembling walked to the cashier, holding hands. I let them "queue" in front of me. After the payment, I took them to the pharmacy to take medicine. The old lady said thank you with a big smiling on her face. That is quite curing.

在收银台的时候，遇到一对年轻的情侣。女孩子对男孩子说：怎么办，这里只能医保卡结算，我们带的现金不够，又不能支付宝或者银行卡。男孩子一手抓着头，一脸无奈的看着女孩子。我想了会儿，说：你们等下，我带两个老人家去取药，回来了和你们换。女孩子连连道谢，我说：如果我遇到这样的情况，也会希望有人伸出援手。所以如果有机会你遇到别人求助，可能的话，也帮帮他们吧。

At the checkout counter, I met a young couple. the girl said to the boy: OMG! What should we do now? We haven't take enough cash, and they don't accept Alipay or bank card. Only Medicare card settlement and cash are acceptable. The boy grabbed his head in one hand, and looked helpless to the girl. I thought for a moment and said: Please wait here, I took these two ole people to take medicine, then I'll back to give you the exchange. The girl felt so thankful. I said: if I encounter such a situation, I'll hope someone will lend a helping hand. So if you happen to meet someone else for help, if possible, please help them.

取完药往停车场走，经过一个姑娘时候，不知她是不是绊到自己，竟然没来由地向后方倒去。也不知道自己是哪里来的反应，竟然一把拉住了她。四目相对，两人都有点惊讶这样的境遇。再次听了几遍谢谢。

On the way to go to the parking lot, I met a woman who was suddenly fell over herself. I grabbed him and even now I can't figure out how am I able to do that. Both of us felt surprised in such situation. The woman appreciated to me several times.

我就是这么一个没什么大能力，大抱负，但是内心温暖的人。那个求不得的人，慢慢让我的心石化，冰封。现实中的我变得冷漠，只在必要的时候说话，爱哭，很久没有笑了。天呐，我真的好怀念那个笑起来疯疯癫癫的自己。

I am such a person with no big power or ambitious, but warm hearted. That man who can not be together made my heart petrified and frozen, slowly. In reality, I become indifferent to everything and speaking only when necessary. OMG! I really miss my smiling eyes.

然而，我相信自己内心那点温暖的种子，最终还会发芽，变成遍地繁花。

However, I believe that the warm seeds in my heart will eventually sprout into flowers everywhere.

那个他，我求不得，放不下。

I cannot be with him or can't let him go.

但是我会恢复，变成内心更强大的自己。

However, I will recover and become more powerful myself.

如果您觉得不错，请给我点个赞或给我留言吧，谢谢～

If you feel the article is good，plz upvote me or leave ur comments. THX～