谷歌點名第九期-假，假期 (自製day off)| Fake sick leave

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(圖片來源：這裏)

@guyverckw 在他的文章寫出2018的假期攻略，教大家在公眾假期之間請幾天假，就可以連續放一個頗長的假期，各位打工仔就可以出國旅遊。那些是真的假期，我現在要說的是假的假期，說白一點即是走堂(即逃學)和礦工啦。

最簡單的方法就是裝病。

我在中六七的時候開始裝。最初是因為常常通宵看動漫，早上起不床。我那時候讀的學校會罰遲到的人留堂，我覺得反正也要遲到了，索性不去上課了!每間學校的政策不一樣，我的學校請一天病假是不用醫生證明的。不用特別花錢就可以請假，所以我當時每月會請一兩天這種假，各位好孩子不要學。

上到大學後，大家都名正言順地礦課啦！學校有訂名出席率，不夠出席率的話不能參加考試。我的學校是20%的課可以隨便走，10%的課要的證明才能走，但是有些教授根本不會點名啊，那些教授的課通常沒甚麼人上啊。大學的時間表比較自由，好運的話，一星期可以有一兩天不用上課，我們叫day off。沒有day off的話可以礦課，自製day off啊。如果遇上會點名的教授，又已經走了20%的課，就要裝病看醫生了，不然不可以考試啊。大學好的是，校醫很便宜，錢包不會太傷。

出了社會，不能隨便請病假。請病假都要提供醫生證明，還要裝生病沙啞的聲音打電話回公司請假。有一次裝病請病假，收到同事傳來窩心的短訊，問我身體怎樣。那時候心裏真的有一股罪惡感，當然我不會話我是裝病的啦。

每次裝病看醫生都要掰不同奇怪理由。我自己常期有鼻水和喉嚨發炎，不會嚴重到不能上班，但是我真的有喉嚨發炎的問題。看醫生時，我會裝辛苦一點，我的醫生證明大多寫上URI，(即呼吸道感染)。上網看過頭痛是個很好的理由，因為醫生沒有辦法證明你不痛。也聽過出門前喝可樂，然後跟醫生說肚子痛也有效，我自己沒有試過就是了。

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(Credit: Here)

Everyone want to have a fake sick leaves some days. I started taking fake sick leave when I was studying in matriculation. I watched Japanese anime and read comics overnight, so I often wkke up late in the morning. In my school, late students were required to attend detention classes. I did not want to go home late so skipped classes! My school did not require student to provide medical prove for one day sick leave. I did not need to spend money for doctor so I took 1-2 fake sick leaves a month.

In university, a lot of people skip classes. In my school, students can skip 20% of classes with no reason and 10% of class with supporting documents. But, you know, some leaturers do not take attendance so a lot of students skip their leatures. If we skipped too many classes, we faked ill and went to the clinic at school as the fee was super cheap.

We cannot take leave easily when we enter the workplace. Companies require us to provide medical certificate for sick leave. We also need to pretend a sick voice when we call in sick. Once I took a fake sick leave, my colleague sent me a warm message asking me if I was ok, I felt guilty.

We need to find reasons to cheat doctors for the medical certificate. I often have runny nose and sore throat. I exaggerated the symtoms and tell doctors I felt really bad, so I always suffer from URI. Headache is a good really as doctors can not tell if you are really painful or not. I also heard that you can drink soft drinks then tell doctors you had a stomachache, I have never tried this before though.