吃苦,是因为我们穷,而不是我们有美德。Suffering, because we are poor, not that we have virtue.

in #cn7 years ago


从小我就接受“吃苦是美德”这样的教育。
假期别的同学出去玩了,而我要却下地干活,拔草、摘辣椒、割芝麻……我内心里羡慕那些跟着爸妈出去旅行的同学,吃饭的时候忍不住叨叨一番,我爸爸说:“他们那是去玩,小孩子要多吃点苦,你们下地干活是吃苦锻炼。”我看我爸说的很有道理的样子,就屁颠屁颠地下地干活。开学到学校听那些孩子们眉飞色舞讲他们在旅途中的见闻,讲他们吃了什么好东西,玩了啥好玩的,我偷听完,内心里就把他们鄙视一番。我觉得自己吃苦很高尚很有意义,他们就知道玩,多没出息!

当然现在我知道了吃苦和高尚没有半毛钱关系,之所以人家出去玩,我要下地干活,是因为他们的家庭条件比我好,他们有钱出去玩。

我刚读大学的时候,特别想吃苦,我想挣点生活费,为爸妈减轻负担。于是我去餐厅找老板谈,说我要勤工俭学,人家回复说可以,但是只给饭吃不给钱。我想那也行啊,至少可以节省点饭钱出来呢。刚开始我站窗口卖早餐,等学生们吃完饭了,我就去帮忙收碗筷,等这一切忙活完,自己吃完饭,差不多就要上课了。学校里面干了没几天,我又转移到校外,和我的朋友雨波一起在一个小餐厅打工,帮忙老板拉烩面,端饭,收拾碗筷,还要洗碗的。也是不给钱,只管饭。就是中午放学了去帮忙,快上课的时候匆忙吃一碗面条就去上课。由于中午没空午休,下午上课的时候我提不起劲,老打瞌睡,化学专业学的一塌糊涂。得到了一碗面条,失去了更多,这样的吃苦,有啥意义呢?

我欠缺自省能力,小餐馆后来停业了,我又跑去卖啤酒了,总想着自己要挣点钱。其实我爸爸给我的钱足够我生活开销的。我在夜市上给食客们推销一种最新的啤酒,他们喝了,我就有点钱拿。有的食客很没素质,非要我当着他们的面灌一瓶,说这样才能证明啤酒好喝,如果我不喝,他们就刁难我,我就气得躲在墙角里哭。

有一次被一个中年男的救了场,他买了好多啤酒,很明显是喝不完的,就是为了支持我一下。不过他老婆怒了,对我一通骂,说我一个穷鬼还想诱惑她老公。那个男人说他老婆:“她就是个学生,我帮一下,你说话至于那么难听吗?”然后他们差点打起来,我很心塞,觉得自己给人家带来了麻烦。

那个夜市的老板是一五大三粗的壮汉,看起来像个黑社会头头。我为了表示恭敬,也为了自己卖啤酒可以顺利点,就称他为“大哥”。但是老板娘一听火了,骂我:“叫啥大哥啊,你叫的还怪亲热,以后不许叫!叫他大叔就行了。”我只能答应。可是我一问老板叫大叔,老板也生气,质问我:“我有那么老吗?”一个称呼就让我很困扰。

我在那夜市呆的挺痛苦,卖了半个月啤酒,实在撑不下去,就不干了。我领了钱,跑去买了个诺基亚手机,180块钱。辛苦半个月,每天晚上蹬着自行车跑到夜市,忍受着食客们的责难,凌晨一两点再骑车返回学校宿舍,夜黑风高,我吓得半死,就挣了那么一点点钱,值得吗?再说,夜里那么不安全,我一个女孩子家,万一出点事可怎么办,岂不是更悲催?现在想起都觉得后怕!我觉得那会我脑子肯定是被门挤了,傻的可怜。

我还干过很多没啥技术含量的苦力活:大街上发单页,超市推销饮料……风中站一天,也就二三十块钱。然后我还洋洋自得,认为自己这么辛苦,是美德啊,应该被载入史册啊!现在想想,如果把这个时间用来看书学习呢?我是不是会得到更多?

我不明白为啥中国的文化喜欢强调吃苦。“吃得苦中苦,方为人上人”,这是人们喜欢挂在嘴边的话。可是,真正的人上人,大多是有个好爸爸,或者有个好亲戚,跟吃苦没啥关系的。农民们最辛苦,可他们却在社会的最底层,是最贫穷的人。吃苦,真的是美德吗?我非常怀疑。

有的富裕家庭孩子,从小生活优渥,为了让他们体验一下生活,家长会在暑假把他们送去餐厅打工。我认识一位大姐,她儿子在英国留学,读高中,假期被她安排到餐厅实践,她说这是让孩子吃吃苦,感受一下。但是她儿子很不情愿,他更愿意在假期做点别的事情。母子两人就起了争执,闹的挺不开心。在我这个旁观者看来,如果那孩子以后不从事餐饮业的工作,他完全没必要去餐厅受这个苦。端盘子洗碗做的再好,对你的学业和以后的工作能有啥帮助呢?时间是珍贵的,要去做最有意义的事情,而不是浪费在这种无聊的吃苦上面。

有很多留学生出国后跑到中餐厅打工,是因为他们钱不够花,而不是他们觉得吃苦有意义。如果有充足的金钱保证,作为一个学生,还是要好好学习才是。至于寒暑假,可以去玩啊,去做自己感兴趣的社会实践,家长强制安排的吃苦项目,参加了也没有太大意义。

网上流传一个段子,说董明珠的儿子去珠海找她,她都不派司机去接,让儿子自己坐没有空调的公交车,美其名曰为了锻炼儿子。我不知道这个段子有多大的真实性,如果是真实的,我觉得董明珠作为一个母亲,这样的思想挺落后的。你天天没有陪伴在儿子身边,你赚了那么多钱,儿子可去找你了,你派个司机去接一下,让他在车上舒舒服服休息一下,消除一下疲劳,有啥不好呢?为啥非得让他挤没有空调的公交车呢?吃这个苦,能让他变得更聪明吗?反正以后我不会这样对待我孩子。家长们辛苦赚钱,是为了让孩子生活条件更舒适,不是为了让他们瞎吃苦。

有时候,有的人会以“吃苦”之名绑架他人。认识一姑娘,她男友特别小气,吃火锅都不让出去,非得自己在家煮。在家煮也没啥,至少得弄点丰盛的吧,他买了一堆素的,说是要减肥。姑娘很生气:“减你大爷,我都瘦成这样了,你想让我减成柴禾啊?”这还不算啥,姑娘自己攒钱买了一件贵点的大衣,他看见了,喋喋不休地批评:“你要当个能吃苦持家的女人,不要有虚荣心……”姑娘气得跟他分了手。

后来她找我一起吃火锅,点了一桌肉,边吃边哭:“我跟他在一起,肉都不让吃,衣服也不让买,还有啥意思?我跟他在一起是为了幸福,不是为了吃苦。”我说我支持她分手,这样的男人,注定不会给女人带来幸福的。

对男人来说,一个女孩愿意跟着你吃苦,你应该心生感激,心怀惭愧,努力赚钱,让她过好点。而不是借此机会利用她,压榨她,让她过得越来越痛苦。如果一个男人要求自己的女人勤俭节约,多半是个窝囊的男人,不要找这种男人。

不过,有的女人是自己愿意吃苦,要给家庭节省。如果家庭经济条件确实窘迫,吃苦是不得已。可如果经济条件好了,还要自找苦吃,那就是傻冒。很多女人结婚后,舍不得给自己买新衣服,舍不得买化妆品,把自己变得很磕碜,把老公打扮的人模狗样,出去就被小姑娘勾跑了。然后她自己哀怨委屈,怪谁呢,谁叫你乐意吃苦呢,这下不正好遂了你的心愿吗?

如果有人夸你是一个吃苦耐劳的好女人,你可要警惕了,他的潜台词是:你是个傻冒。

《平凡的世界》里面,孙少安的妻子秀莲是典型的“贤妻”,她嫁给孙少安的时候不要彩礼,甚至连新衣服都不做,少安扯的布,她说要给少安做衣服。她照顾奶奶,公婆,疼惜弟弟妹妹们。可是她提了一下分家单过,就被孙少安打了一顿。最后她也没有享受啥好日子,而是死于癌症。喜欢吃苦的女人没有好下场。

我们得明白,有很多时候我们吃苦,是因为我们穷,而不是我们有美德。我极其讨厌吃苦,夏天让我住没有空调的房子,我会爆炸。而且我发现我在舒适的条件下,才会专心写出文章。如果条件艰苦,我会心神不宁,手机都玩不下去的。

世上有两件事无法掩藏:爱和贫穷。你因为贫穷而受苦,不是一件啥光荣的事情,不要沉溺其中。吃苦是因为目前没有办法躲避,只能忍耐,尽量让这个过程短点。

人生太短,要享乐,不要吃苦。奋斗了许久,还在吃苦,那没啥值得炫耀的。所以我尤其讨厌那种宣传一个人吃了多少年的苦,终于获得成功啥的,可真够笨的。还剩下多少时间享受生活呢?成功要趁早,赚钱要趁早,恋爱要趁早,剩下的时间,好好享受,这才是人生赢家。

祝我们都早日脱离苦海。

随意赞赏,一起变美🌷

Since I was a child, I accepted the education of "suffering is virtue".

Holidays other students go out to play, and I want it to work, weeding, picking pepper, sesame cut...... My heart envy those who follow my parents travel classmates, dinner could not help complaining a lot, my dad said: "it is to play them, children should eat more bitter, you have to work hard to exercise." I think my dad said very reasonable way, it Pidianpidian underground work. School children listen to those who say they beam with joy in the journey in to the school, said they ate what good stuff, playing what fun, I overheard the end, put them inside a contempt. I feel that I am very noble and meaningful, and they know how to play.

Of course, now I know that hardship and dignity are not related to half a penny. Because people go out to play, I want to work on the ground because their family conditions are better than mine, and they have enough money to go out to play.

When I was a college student, I wanted to make a lot of hard work. I wanted to earn some living expenses and lighten the burden for my parents. So I went to the restaurant to talk to the boss, saying I wanted to work hard, people replied that I could, but only give money for food. I think it is OK, at least you can save the board. I just started selling breakfast station window, waiting for the students to eat a meal, I went to help the chopsticks, etc. all this busy, the meal himself, almost going to class. Inside the school did a few days, I was transferred to the school, and my friend rain wave together in a small restaurant, the boss to help pull noodle, rice, clean up, but also do the dishes. It is not for money, but for rice. It is at noon to go to the school to help, quickly to take a bowl of noodles in a hurry to class. Because I did not have a noon break at noon, in the afternoon, I did not work hard at the time of class, and I dozed off, and the chemistry was in a mess. What does it mean to get a bowl of noodles and lose more?

I was short of self-examination, the cafe was later closed, and I ran to sell beer, thinking that I had to make a bit of money. In fact, my father gave me enough money for my living expenses. I'm selling a new kind of beer to the diners on the night market. They drink, and I'll have some money to get it. Some diners are very poor, so I must fill a bottle in front of them, so that they can prove that beer is good. If I don't drink, they will make me difficult, so I will be angry and hide in the corner.

One time was saved by a middle-aged man, he bought a lot of beer, it was obvious that he couldn't finish it. It was to support me. But his wife angry to me, a scold, I still want to say a qionggui seduce her husband. The man said his wife: "she is a student. I can help. Are you talking so hard?" Then they almost hit, and I was very upset and felt that I had brought trouble to others.

That night the boss is 15 3 coarse man, looks like an underworld boss. In order to express respectability and to sell beer for myself, I call him "big brother". But the mother of the boss listened to the fire, scolded me: "call what big brother ah, you call the strange affectionate, after no call!" Call him uncle. " I can only promise. But when I asked my boss for uncle, the boss was angry and asked me, "are I so old?" I'm troubled by a name.

I was so miserable in the night market that I had sold beer for half a month, and I couldn't do it. I got the money and ran to buy a NOKIA, 180 dollars. Hard for half a month, every night on a bike to the night market, diners suffer censure, one or two in the morning and then ride back to school dormitory that night, I was scared to death, earned a little money, worth it? Besides, the night is so unsafe, I am a girl, in case something can be done, wouldn't it be more sad? I think I cringe! I think my mind must have been squeezed by the door.

I have done a lot of no technical content of toil: live on the street main page, supermarkets sell drinks...... One day in the wind, it's twenty or thirty dollars. Then I think you so hard, very pleased with oneself, is a virtue, should be recorded in history! Now think about it, if you use this time to read and study? Will I get more?

I don't understand why Chinese culture likes to stress hard work. "Eat bitterness and bitter, for people to be people", this is the words that people like to hang on the mouth. However, the real people, most of them have a good father, or have a good relative, have nothing to do with suffering. The peasants are the hardest, but they are at the bottom of the society, the poorest. Is it really a virtue to have a hard time? I'm very skeptical.

Some wealthy family of children, childhood life appeared, in order to allow them to experience life, parents will send them to the restaurant in the summer. I know a big sister. Her son is studying in the UK, reading high school, and being arranged in the dining room for the holidays. She says it is to let the children eat bitterness and feel it. But her son was reluctant, and he was more willing to do something else in the holiday. The mother and son of the two people had a dispute and were not happy. In my view, if the child did not work in the catering industry later, he had no need to go to the restaurant to suffer. What can you do for your studies and future work? Time is precious, to do the most meaningful things, not waste on this boring hardship.

There are many students who go abroad to work in the Chinese restaurant because they don't have enough money to spend, not that they feel bitter. If there is enough money to guarantee, as a student, it is necessary to study well. As for the cold and summer vacation, you can go to play and do the social practice that you are interested in. It is not of great significance to take part in the hard work of the parents.

Online spread a piece, said Dong Mingzhu's son went to Zhuhai to look for her, she did not send a driver to pick up, let his son sit the bus without air conditioning, calling them to exercise the son. I don't know how true this paragraph is. If it's true, I think Dong Mingzhu is a mother, and this idea is backward. You haven't been there with your son every day. You earn so much money that your son can go to you. You send a driver to pick him up, let him rest in the car and get rid of fatigue. What's wrong with it? Why do you have to get him to get a bus without air conditioning? Can it make him smarter to eat this bitterness? After all, I won't treat my children like that. Parents are hard to make money in order to make their children more comfortable, not to make them suffer.

Sometimes, some people kidnap others in the name of "suffering". To know a girl, her boyfriend was very small, and she didn't have to go out in the hot pot, so she had to cook at home. It's nothing to cook at home. At least get a lot of it. He bought a bunch of ingredients, saying it's going to lose weight. The girl is very angry: "by your uncle, I have become so thin, you want me to cut firewood?" This is not what, she saved enough money to buy a piece of your little coat, he saw, chatter without stop criticism: you want to be a hard-working woman, don't have vanity......" The girl was angry with him.

Then she went to me to eat the hot pot, ordered a table, and then cried, "I was with him, the meat was not allowed to eat, and the clothes were not to be bought. What else did it mean?" I'm with him for happiness, not for suffering. " I said I support her to break up, such a man, doomed not to bring happiness to women.

For a man, a girl is willing to suffer with you, you should be grateful, feel ashamed, try to make money, and make her better. Instead of taking this opportunity to make use of her, press her, making her more and more painful. If a man asks his wife to thrift, is mostly a timid man, don't look for this man.

However, some women are willing to eat hard, to save the family. If the economic condition of the family is indeed embarrassed, it is hard to suffer. If the good economic conditions, but also to ask for it, it is stupid. A lot of women after marriage, reluctant to buy their own clothes, reluctant to buy cosmetics, you make yourself very knock gritty, the husband dressed little girl was pretend to be cool, go running. Then her own grievances, who is the blame, who would call you willing to eat bitterness, this is not just right to your wish?

If people say you are a hard-working good woman, you have to be vigilant, the subtext is: you are a fool.

"Ordinary world", Sun Shaoan's wife Xiulian is the typical "wife", she married Sun Shaoan when the bride not even new clothes, do not pull, the small cloth, she said to give less clothes. She takes care of grandma, parents, brothers and sisters love. But at the mention of her separation Changuo, Sun Shaoan was beaten. At last she didn't enjoy a good day, but she died of cancer. A woman who likes to eat bitterness doesn't play well.

We have to understand that there are many times when we suffer, because we are poor, not that we have virtue. I hate bitterness, in the summer I live in a house without air conditioning. I will explode. And I found that I would concentrate on writing articles when I was comfortable. If the condition is difficult, I hung up, are not going to play mobile phone.

There are two things that cannot be concealed in the world: love and poverty. It is not a glorious thing that you suffer because of poverty. Do not indulge in it. Hardship is because there is no way to avoid, only patience, try to make the process a little shorter.

Life is too short to enjoy, do not eat bitterness. The struggle for a long time, still suffering, it is nothing to show off. So I especially hate the kind of propaganda that a person has taken years of suffering, and finally got what is successful, but really stupid. How much time is left to enjoy life? Success as early as possible, to make money as early as possible, love as early as possible, the rest of the time, enjoy, this is a winner in life.

I wish we all misery as soon as possible.

Feel free to admire, to be beautiful together

  • -- from Machine Translation
Sort:  

@aaaamshager, 留点时间给反思,留点平淡给自己...

省吃俭用为买一个包,这不叫吃苦。为了上班车费租费去找个郊区的房子,对你的事业没有帮助,只会消耗你的精力。打个比方,富人可以为了一个渺茫的希望四处打听消息,硬着头皮学习,起早贪黑准备,穷人吃不了这个苦。穷人可以冬天冷风里等公交,下车再提着大行李走很远的路,富人吃不了这个苦。再打个比方,说我吧,身体受伤了,舍不得花钱去医院,他没想到那一层,只有身体健康,才能好好挣钱,所以,这也不叫,省钱,不叫吃苦,这反而害了自己。所以穷人吃不了奋斗的苦,富人吃不了生活的苦。 吃苦要吃的有价值。(当然,你如果在没有资金的情况下,省钱为了自己筹划的事情,那也叫吃苦,只是,咱们得明白,吃苦是吃有价值的苦,不是说折磨自己,生活的不好,省吃俭用,都营养不良了,认为自己好能吃苦,自己把自己感动了,这叫吃苦?)还有我想说:不要一味地让刚毕业的孩子多吃苦,认为让他一个人出去锻炼,家里人不管,不给钱,让他自己出去闯就是一种锻炼,如果,你已经给孩子创造了好的条件,那么请你引导孩子往正确的方向发展,别浪费你自己吃了好长时间的苦,到孩子这儿还得让他继续吃,最起码孩子想做什么你可以作为孩子的最坚强的后盾,你得让孩子明白,吃苦得吃在点上,不是吃不好睡不好就是吃了苦,不是熬夜就是吃苦。

Congratulations @aaaamshager! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You published your First Post
You made your First Comment
You got a First Vote

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

Congratulations @aaaamshager! You received a personal award!

Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 1 year!

Click here to view your Board

Support SteemitBoard's project! Vote for its witness and get one more award!

Congratulations @aaaamshager! You received a personal award!

Happy Birthday! - You are on the Steem blockchain for 2 years!

You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking

Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.15
TRX 0.12
JST 0.025
BTC 56208.10
ETH 2476.58
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.26