Deep Pains

Beautiful Sunday morning, the sun rays got straight into my eyes, trying to shade my eyes from the rays, i could swear i saw him, more clear than ever. "I believe Raymond is with God now", I thought out loud with tears rolling down my eyes.

source

It's been 3 years now, and I haven't even found a replacement for Ray. He's thrice as sweet as chocolate, each time i scolded Ray, he gave me that stir " mum i love you", he always whispered. I would stop at nothing to make sure Raymond was always happy. I didn't feel the absence of Sam, Ray's dad. Ray didn't allow me the stress of having to face the pain of a single mum

Ray was barely 17 when he had that fatal accident, why wasn't it me, why was it Raymond chuckles with tears still rolling down her eyes

Hello Sunshine, Bryan called out!
Oh hey! Morning Bryan.
Hey baby, Raymond again?
Yes i saw Ray again, this time , he was so clear Bryan bursts into tears
How long are we gon keep talking you outta this Alyssa? Raymond has gone to be with God. I'm here for you Lyssa. Come here. *walks towards her and hugs her really tight, planting a kiss on her forehead)
I love you Lyssa he whispered. I made you breakfast, you go freshen up, while i dish your meal. We have to get some groceries and trust me, i 'in leaving you here alone he exits the room

smiles i miss you Ray but hope Bryan doesn't turn into some beast soon, I thought to myself. I got off bed, headed for the bathroom to freshen up like Bryan had instructed.

This is basically the story of my life. I had Raymond Hart when i was 17 with Sam Hart whom I thought was my life, little did I know i was wrong. Sam was my pain. I was stuck on Sam cause I didn't want to end up a single mother who had to raise her child alone and having to leave the child a vacuum in his heart. I needed Raymond to have his father around him at all time but i failed.

Sam finally left to be with high school lover just when Raymond was 7. I was miserable and confused. We had series of quarrels even after he had left me and his son, he never wanted to see us anymore for reasons best known to him . I loved Sam but i had to move on since he found happiness with his high school lover.

Ray had a lung disease that required us (his parents) never to leave his side but he grew and could handle himself. He drove to see his friends just down the road and i guess he had an attack and just during the process of trynna handle himself, he ran into the hoods and crash into a tree that fell on him. I lost Raymond but I haven't lost the memories we shared. Ray was me and i was Ray. Getting an acquaintance with anyone now feels like a mission never going to be accomplished but Bryan came along.