Letters to Incestuous Elders: The First Letter

in #church4 years ago (edited)


Not all characters portrayed in this inspired work of “un-abstracted fictional realism” are based on real people. Some of them are bots, and some are parasites. I have taken creative liberties in character names, so as to afford some dignity to any folks who have inspired these writings. I would also like to acknowledge and honor the written work of C.S Lewis, particularly “The Screwtape Letters” as a primary source of inspiration — though I have also taken the liberty of going with a less demonic approach and focus. The Character initiating these letters is the Archangel Solomon, along with his fellow angelic hosts 🥰 .

Without further adu …

Hi Rod,​​

I wanted to express my condolences for your family. I know it must be a difficult time. Having Meandy getting yanked out of the closet on you all during an already stressful time for her and Donny.

​​For me though, the much harder part to digest was the alarming lack of your daughter, Meandy’s, integrity to lie and continue to slander Donny, in a heartless attempt to steal away his children after defaming him. And then the way you guys all jumped in to get behind the slander! I don’t mind woman loving woman as much. It’s too fatiguing to care about earth people’s sexual orientation.

​​​​Did you have any part in the writing of that nasty document — the one given to him by Pappy? I know Pappy is only your dog (many do consider him to be just like an elder!), but did you put him up to it? Oh LORD, that document introduced me to a way of thinking I had never seen before! Pretty twisted stuff. In a nice uplifted mood, though, the dark comedy we are in is actually very funny. So, if you had any part of writing it, thank you for the hearty laugh! ​👌​​😂​ Who’s idea was it to put the word “Reconciliation” in the title? ​😂​​🤣​​😂​​👎​ I think my favorite part is right there at number 1! When Pappy got this to him, it was 2pm!!

“Move out by 4pm” — Good one! 🤣😂 LOL!

I’m interested in restoring a great father completely free and unlimited access to his two wonderful daughters. I hear it sucks at your place (no offense), as well as the other Adultery Incubator at the Barrens’s (Maybe we can discus their behavior more in depth at a later date).

I’d like to get those girls OUT of the DANGER ZONE as fast as possible, please ​🙏​.

​​Finally, I am trying to schedule a public apology date very soon — an opportunity for you and the old boys club to have the opprtinity to save some face at the church. If we can get everyone there at the same time, it won’t need to take long.

​​1. Can you help me restore Donny to his children ASAP? We’re just going to need a few of your false statements retracted in the court of law, and then we’re good! If dealing with this in the LIGHT is too uncomfortable, we have a way you can do this in the shadows, since that’s what your more accustomed to.

​​2. What Sunday works best for you? (Can you do Sep 29?)

We have a guy with boots on the ground and head in the clouds we’d like to preside over the ceremony. His name is Matthew and he’ll be in touch.

​​In Christ,

Archangel Solomon

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