#chronocrypto-dystopian short story, entry into @chronocrypto's short story challenge.

in #chrono-dystopian6 years ago


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It’s dark, and cold. I can feel a breeze and my throat is dry. I cannot see my hand in front of my face. The silence is so intense that I hear a soft piercing ringing in the air. My heartbeat feels like a drum in my throat. It feels different, stronger! I am scared, but I don’t make sudden movements. Where am I? How did I get here? I walk forward, feeling my way to the nearest wall, or something, so that I can guide myself out of the darkness. A strong metallic smell, like that of a metal factory lingers in the air. The smell I always imagined the future to smell like. As I slowly step forward, my foot crushes a dry leaf on the floor. It seems to be as loud as an explosion. My heart starts to beat faster. Suddenly I hear a scurry of some sort, just behind me. Cold chills run down my spine and my claustrophobic instinct kicks in causing me to freak out and run. Like a fix to an addict, I feel relief as I see an intense orange flame appears in front of my face. I see James, my best friend. His face is dirty and dripping with sweat. He frantically whispers “come quickly, follow me”! Without hesitation, I grab onto his coat and I follow him, trusting him like I always did. My surroundings vaguely light up and seem to dance as the light of the flame slowly strobes. I see large, rusted, pieces of metal, I see round ratchet gears and nuts and bolts strewn on the floor. It feels like we’re in a junkyard. We reach a large, dull green coloured metal door. James quickly opens the door. We enter as fast as we can and shut the door behind us. James mounts the torch on the wall, and for the first time since I woke up, a lucid familiar flash of thought enters my mind. I was lying on the operating table. I had just had a heart attack. I was about to die. James asks me if I am okay. I reassure him that I am not hurt. I tell him I am confused. Another flash of thought enters my mind. I see Professor Droba; a renowned Italian cardiac surgeon entering the room. He has, in his hands, the first mechanical heart ever produced. "This will change everything!", the professor says to his team, as they observe a moment of silence. I was to be the first test subject. James was on the bed next to me. We met at the support group for disease stricken people. He also had a heart problem. He was to be the second test subject to receive a mechanical heart as a proof to the experiment. My reminiscence is rudely interrupted as I hear a loud thump on the big metal door. James whispers “they have found us! After 100 years of running, they have finally found us”!

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You have some real English writing talent for a boertjie :)

Haha. The prize is 100 sbd so I can do whatever is require of me 😂 Never written though. Feel a bit embarrassed about it all haha

100 sbd - you go for it J. Fantastic short story and very well written. you get my vote.

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