Digital Diary - 16 January 2018

Hello God,
How are You? I'm ok, a bit sad and stressed, but I'm ok. Sad because I know I have to get rid of something that's not bringing me closer to You per say.
Stressed because I haven't found a job yet & I'm not sure what You want me to do. How I wish there could be a simple Yes or No to everything in life, but there isn't.
This idol in my life, it's stealing my joy & peace. Everyday I live in fear of losing it, so I do everything I can to hold onto it, & it's destroying me.
In my spirit I know I must let go, but the flesh is strong, & the fear of being alone after I let this idol go is almost too much to bear.
Lord I have tried everything to make it work. You & I both know that. But things are just not moving forward if I can put it that way.

The biggest problem is that I am trying to control the situation, whereas I shouls just completely surrender it to You and say, "Your Will, not mine". The fear of uttering those words for this idol in my life gives me immense anxiety and stress.

But I know that You know what's best for me God. You have never done anything to hurt me or harm me. God help me, please, to surrender & let go of everything in my life that isn't from You or that doesn't glorify You.
No matter the cost. Rip it out Lord, anything that's keeping me from You.

You are what I want. I want You to be my everything. Not the world. You God.