Sincerity Vs Reality Christianity

My Christian Life Experience

My Christian life journey started in a pre-school/kindergarten ran by some chinese missionary organisation in the early 1950

I can remember even now vividly giving my heart to Jesus after hearing the passover story in mandarin.  How God did it and set it up I don't know.  I just don't recalled how I got there as I was probably 4 or 5 years old then.

However, this I know as God's Presence and His daily conversation with me was very private and real in my formative childhood days.  I often talk to Him as I am a loner even with a sibling of 7 ( 3 elders sisters and 2 elders brothers and a younger brother).  

Basically, that summed up my growing up years.  My father was seldom home as he has to work day and night as the sole supporter of the family.  Often time he will be away for weeks or months but my heavenly Father was not and was with me all the time conversing with me in my father absent. 

I was kind of shut-up in my own world as I observed the world outside going around me .

Part 1 

Christianity was a very real experience of walking with Jesus and sharing my heart and daily issues of life with Him. Nobody taught me that or about going to church or reading the bible. I was not followed up in anyway in discipleship classes or any of such religious activities.  Everything just  happened as it  was spontaneously.  When I was injured or hurt during soccer games or when I am sick, I just tell Jesus and that was it.

However, as soon as I was more exposed to christianity and attending  church regularly in my early teen, I quickly discovered the ulterior motives of my older christian friends and neighbours that their true intention was not seeking the Lordship of Christ  in their life but rather to used  church as a place to socialise and to seek out opposite sex partnership.  It greatly disappointed me and I was offended (I was a young and sincere but not yet marured enough Christian then) and I stop going to Church.  I said to myself self-righteously (sincerely wrong) that if going to church is  not to seek God , then I want nothing to do with it.

Looking back from the hindsight, I realised my Christian walk with Christ  was no more as vibrant and as it was in my younger days .  Soon I was enlisted into the Army/Airforce for 2 years of compulsory National Service.

During this time serving in the army and airforce. my christian faith did not wavered but my lifestyle did.  I was fiecely defending my christian faith but at the same time most of my actions and deeds proved otherwise.     Nevertheless. I know my  very real experiences and my own testimony of  having encountering God even when others don't.  I hang on and kept my faith and trust in Jesus.  This is the phase of my Christian life where the religious  christian referred to as a "backslidened "

Whether I was backsliden or not I don't know but what I do know was that God the Father's Presence and  Christ awareness was missing  at this phase of my life most of the time.  It was not like before and my spirit did weep and yearn for His return.  

Part 2

The next phase of my christian life joirney was after I have completed my National Service and was now working in the Singapore Health Services as a Pharmaceutical Technician in the Ministry of Health.  Here I met a lady colleague who invited me to attend church again.  This time it was I who went along with an ulterior motive as I was attracted to her and she eventually became my wife.

What happened at the first church service I attended after  a long break from christians gathering was to turn my life around and the sweet Presence and return of Christ and God awareness in even greater measure.

I will desctibes it in greater detail in the next narration  as I have to go now after a short lunch break . Will continued in part 4

Part 3