Last night I posted Proverbs 26 in its entirety with the title "Don't give honor to Fools-by God.
Well, by God, here is my experience of why not: it empowers them wrongly. They begin to think more highly of their opinion than what is warranted. Frankly, it creates monsters that are hard to slay later, it would be better to not have created the problem to begin with.
I read this book thirty years or so ago called "The Gift of Honor" by Gary Smalley and I took it to heart. I recently bought a used copy and began to re-read it. I didn't have to read much to put my finger on the problem. I don't want to speak ill of the dead author, but for a Christian, it was a piece of crap. He gave no opposing argument! I was a baby Christian when I first read it and didn't know "the Word" very well, if at all. Certainly did not know Proverbs 26! That proverb IS the opposing argument.
Personally, I have really been struggling just how I ended up surrounded by people who all have the same problem, those closest to me. My mother used to say "If it is everyone else, it's you!" So, I didn't want to believe it was them and technically it is me. By giving them honor they didn't deserve I gave them permission to be obnoxious and overly confident in their opinion of their opinion. My main reaction to this was always anger and I always apologized for my anger. Leaving them free to look at my anger problem but not their behavior that made me angry. After thirty years of this psycho loop, I feel helpless to reverse the damage. I can't convince them, not that I am trying, that the problem originates with them. Both of the two people, I mainly am talking about, see no wrong in themselves but are happy to point out my anger. It's nuts and it truly is my fault because I honored them when I should have been calling them out all along. I did do the right thing to apologize for getting angry, but the wrong thing in letting them off the hook. That is what I thought honor was. In my mind,it is synonymous with respect. I have attached the dictionary definition of both words below so you can decide and differentiate and not make the same mistake. I also now realize both of these individuals are massive passive aggressive personalities and I am the victim. I won't dwell on that because I don't like being a victim and I don't believe in complaining.
There is nothing left to do but get the hell away from them and be free of the psycho loop. Maybe they will come around on their own, maybe they won't. I finally have peace of mind. Now that I know what a passive aggressive is and that the last thing they need is honor, it's over! The nightmare of trying to have a loving relationship with backstabbers who receive apologies but never give them is done! I would rather be alone, even lonely than with either of these people.
I hope this helps someone out. It has been a long hard road for me to see what has happened. I take full responsibility for my part in it. I am growing and changing and responsible for me, myself and I. I will stand before God and answer for my part in the dysfunction. I am allowing Him and His word to influence, guide and comfort me. I pray they would do the same but it is no longer my problem. I am, so to speak, no longer the fuel for the fire. Besides that you really can't fix stupid. I fear that is the core issue of one of them. I prophet is not without honor except in his own town and family Jesus said. Therefore as much as I like to think I was a good example to them, they were not listening or respecting me. I pray some other laborer will cross their path, it just can't be me. They too will give an account before God, I can't be there to accuse or excuse at that final hour anyway.
noun: honour; noun: honor
high respect; esteem.
"his portrait hangs in the place of honor"
synonyms: distinction, recognition, privilege, glory, kudos, cachet, prestige, merit, credit; More
a person or thing that brings credit.
"you are an honor to our profession"
adherence to what is right or to a conventional standard of conduct.
plural noun: honours; plural noun: honors
"I must as a matter of honor avoid any taint of dishonesty"
synonyms: integrity, honesty, uprightness, ethics, morals, morality, principles, high principles, righteousness, high-mindedness; More
antonyms: unscrupulousness, dishonor
"the great poet of whom it is my honor to speak tonight"
synonyms: privilege, pleasure, pride, joy; More
a thing conferred as a distinction, especially an official award for bravery or achievement.
"the highest military honors"
synonyms: accolade, award, reward, prize, decoration, distinction, medal, ribbon, star, laurel
a special distinction for proficiency in an examination.
plural noun: honours; plural noun: honors
"she passed with honors"
a class or course of degree studies more specialized than that of the ordinary level.
plural noun: honors
"an honors degree in mathematics"
a title of respect given to or used in addressing a judge or a mayor.
noun: His Honour; noun: His Honor; noun: Her Honour; noun: Her Honor; noun: Your Honour; noun: Your Honor
the right of teeing off first, having won the previous hole.
a woman's chastity or her reputation for this.
"she died defending her honor"
synonyms: chastity, virginity, maidenhead, purity, innocence, modesty; More
an ace, king, queen, or jack.
possession in one's hand of at least four of the ace, king, queen, and jack of trumps, or of all four aces in no trumps, for which a bonus is scored.
plural noun: honors
(in whist) an ace, king, queen, or jack of trumps.
verb: honour; 3rd person present: honours; past tense: honoured; past participle: honoured; gerund or present participle: honouring; verb: honor; 3rd person present: honors; past tense: honored; past participle: honored; gerund or present participle: honoring
regard with great respect.
"Joyce has now learned to honor her father's memory"
synonyms: esteem, respect, admire, defer to, look up to; More
pay public respect to.
"talented writers were honored at a special ceremony"
synonyms: applaud, acclaim, praise, salute, recognize, celebrate, commemorate, commend, hail, lionize, exalt, eulogize, pay homage to, pay tribute to, sing the praises of; formallaud
"they were honored at a special ceremony"
antonyms: disgrace, criticize
fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an agreement).
"make sure the franchisees honor the terms of the contract"
synonyms: fulfill, observe, keep, obey, heed, follow, carry out, discharge, implement, execute, effect; More
accept (a bill) or pay (a check) when due.
"the bank informed him that the check would not be honored"
a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
"the director had a lot of respect for Douglas as an actor"
synonyms: esteem, regard, high opinion, admiration, reverence, deference, honor
"the respect due to a great artist"
the state of being admired or respected.
"his first chance in over fifteen years to regain respect in the business"
due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.
plural noun: respects
"respect for human rights"
synonyms: due regard, politeness, courtesy, civility, deference
"he spoke to her with respect"
a person's polite greetings.
plural noun: respects
"give my respects to your parents"
a particular aspect, point, or detail.
"the government's record in this respect is a mixed one"
synonyms: aspect, regard, facet, feature, way, sense, particular, point, detail
"the report was accurate in every respect"
verb: respect; 3rd person present: respects; past tense: respected; past participle: respected; gerund or present participle: respecting
admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
"she was respected by everyone she worked with"
synonyms: esteem, admire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, look up to, revere, reverence, honor
"she is highly respected in the book industry"
have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of.
"I respected his views"
synonyms: show consideration for, have regard for, observe, be mindful of, be heedful of; formaltake cognizance of
"they respected our privacy"
avoid harming or interfering with.
"it is incumbent upon all boaters to respect the environment"
agree to recognize and abide by (a legal requirement).
"he urged all foreign nationals to respect the laws of their country of residence"
synonyms: abide by, comply with, follow, adhere to, conform to, act in accordance with, defer to, obey, observe, keep, keep to
"her father respected her wishes"
antonyms: disregard, disobey