I appreciate the depth of your writing and like the topic very much. Im not a traditional christian. I connected with some of what you said and the passages in context with the topic. We dont always know why circustances are happening but seek to know, to be shown with love and clarity from God. I know that when Im feeling those negative, depressed emotions that it is me believing something that God does not agree with. Not condemning but a loving steadfast holding to the majesty God IS. God loves me so much that he refuses to agree with me and holds the light for me at ALL times. Joy is our purpose. Gratitude, appreciation, is our calling. We seek to learn and grow from our selfmade trials. Its neccesary and God knows its a way to come back to him and his light. May we shine it for all to see!