So this is the last post for singles to help you on your way to find a life partner.

WHEN TO ABSOLUTELY NOT PROCEED WITH A RELATIONSHIP

BIG WARNING SIGNS

• If you notice that he/she is manipulating and always want to manipulate you into doing what he/she wants.
• If you notice that there is or might be an addiction. I plead with you, break it off don't set yourself up for a lifetime of heartache.
• If you notice that he/she get aggressive easily and can't control their emotions.
• If he/she is very jealous don't want you to speak to other people, start accusing you of things, etc.
• He/she not making you a priority. If this happens so early on in the beginning of a relationship where it should be all moonshine and roses, then you will be grossly neglected later on in a relationship.
• A meanness towards old people, children and animals.

If any of the above signs are there, break off the friendship, as said above, if you continue this and you go over into a
long-term relationship and/or marriage your life will be full of problems and heartache. Value yourself enough to spare you this, there are lots of people who are looking for a life-partner, you will find another candidate.

If you identify any of the above warning signs in your life, don't consider to be in a relationship for now. We live in a wonderful world full of technology and help is available everywhere. Even if you can't afford professional help, you can browse on the internet for self-help courses for your problem. See a pastor or a social worker, but please reach out, you are also worth it, to be a better version of you. You also deserve more than having these problems and continue to destroy your life. You can do it, anyone can get help and change, but the change always starts with you. Once you have sorted out the problems you can start to look for a life-partner again, knowing that you will be the best you can be and it is in your ability to make yourself and your partner happy.

HOW TO PROGRESS FROM DATING INTO A RELATIONSHIP AND TO BEING A COUPLE?

After you have gone on a few dates and had a good time, to become a couple seems like the reasonable next step. You have shared interests, share a sense of humour and just like to spend time together. Or you are so much in love, you feel like spending each waking moment with this person.

Don't rush into a relationship, rushing into a relationship can be a recipe for failure. Although to be open is a good thing don't disclose everything about yourself. Past relationships and what you are looking for may be overwhelming and even a turn off to your new partner. Proceed with caution.

A solid foundation of friendship and trust should be built. Don't rush the relationship just because you are ready to commit. Only after you feel that you have a good foundation, that you trust this person, more or less start to know who he and she are then you can ask yourself some questions.

• Do I see myself spending my life with this person?
• Maybe you are in love, but do you like what you see?
• Do I like who I am when I am with this person?
• Does he/she make me feel good?
• Does he/she build my confidence or break me down?
• Is this person kind, does he/she have empathy and compassion?
• What is the negative points, can you live with it, can you accept it?

If most of the above questions are positive then you can consider the next step becoming a couple. So once you proceed to be a couple you can start to be more open and share more. Talk about your expectations, your dreams, your emotional and physical needs.

• Set clear boundaries and expectations. Make sure that you are on the same page about how fast you want to proceed with the relationship. If and when you will sleep over, have sex, move in together. If both of you do not have the same expectations it can lead to trouble. If you are a Christian, you will have to clearly set your boundaries on physical intimacy what will be allowed and what not.

• Make time for each other, the only way to get a person inside and out is to spend quality time together. Do things where you can talk a lot, like a picnic, a walk in the park, dinner together etc. The more you can talk, the better you will get to know your girlfriend or boyfriend.

• That said also give each other space. Still allow for separate activities, for instance for her to spend time with her lady friends, the guy still have his time with the guys. But you should spend more time with each other than with other people.

• Get to know each other's families ,family events and tradition. Do you utmost best to accept and start loving your partner's family. If you can't do this, it also will spell trouble ahead.

• Just enjoy your partner, give the best of your time, love and emotions to your partner that you were looking for, for so long. If you do this, the relationship should be a success.

I can tell you a life-partner and marriage is something wonderful to experience and to enjoy. But you have to put in time, love and attention. It is like a garden, if you tend to it, it will give you much pleasure with beautiful flowers, but if you neglect it it will bring you pain, bringing forth weed and thorns. So make sure to tend to this new relationship you are nurturing for maximum enjoyment and happiness.

I conclude with this verse of the Bible,

Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. (NKJV)

Images: freepik.com

Thank you for reading, may you be blessed abundantly and find the partner are looking for. Everyone deserves happiness!

@hope777 & @scotty777 (aka "the scott team")