Love & Marriage 111 - How to find a mate. Step 1 - know yourself.

WILL I EVER FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON TO MARRY?

I decided to do a post for the single people. Maybe you had girlfriends/boyfriends in the past but it did not work out. You have been single for quite a while and you are wondering if the right person will ever cross your path.
Well, I have some good news for you. The right person will come definitely. In my mother tongue, "Afrikaans" we have a saying "there is a lid for every pot". If you just sit at a cafe and watch couples you will see that with your own eyes. You will see that people you won't ever put together in your mind, are together and seems happy. This very beautiful girl with this totally nerdy guy, or this very attractive guy with this really fat lady, but you can see that he loves her very much.

So let's call that lesson one. There is so much more than just the looks. Maybe it will be looks that will attract you in the beginning or maybe just the eyes or the hair or even the way someone speaks, but in the end that may be the least important.

But before you can start looking for a mate, you have to look at yourself. You must know yourself. Besides your relationship with God, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. Go sit down with a piece of paper and write down a few things about yourself. If you sit down to write something, first write down the thing that you think is the most important in your life. For e.g. I am a Christian, that defines who I am, so first off that would be the first thing that I would have written, as all the other aspects in my life flow from that.

• What kind of personality do you have? Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do like being around people or do you prefer your own conversation. If you are an introvert and you are longing to find a mate then you must realize that it will take certain steps from you to achieve this.

• What is your character traits? Are you friendly, helpful, patient etc, or are you the opposite, unfriendly, impatient etc. If you realise that you have character traits that won't be so appealing to other persons then you must work on it. You get a lot of self-help books or articles on the internet.

• What type of career are you in? Are you happy with what you are doing? Would you rather like to do?

• Do you have short term and long term goals and what are they?

• What is your favourite thing to do? What are your hobbies?

• Do you like to be indoors or outdoors?

• What makes you happy and what makes you sad?

• Are you comfortable with your body? What do you like about your body? What do you dislike? Is it something you can change? If not then you must accept yourself. Nobody is perfect.

After you wrote all this down, you will get a picture of who you are. If I take my answers and I write down my "picture", I would have written, I am a Christian, I am friendly and outgoing, I love people, I love to be outdoors. To be in the company of other people makes me happy, to be in nature and outdoors makes me happy. To be alone makes me sad, to see other people hurt or unhappy makes me sad. My body is not perfect, I am chubby but I am comfortable with my body. I am not ashamed of my body. To have a career is important, but I have to do something that I like. In the past, I just work because I had to earn money, luckily for me that changed and I can do what I love now. You get the picture.

So like I wrote above, you take all the answers to the questions and you go write down who you are and what you look like, as I did above. Then you will have a very good picture of who you are, you will know if you are happy with yourself or is there things that you want to change? If there are things you want to change, write it down and ways how you think you can change it.

REMEMBER, CHANGE ALWAYS BEGINS WITH YOU!

If you want to change some things in your life, you will have to take action to change it. It won't just happen. You can go see a pastor or a life coach or seek some help on the internet.

BE HAPPY
You have to be happy with who you are! Happy and positive people are more likely to attract people to them than unhappy people. You have to find a way to be happy before you can attract the right mate.

The next post will continue on how to find yourself a mate.

Images: www.freepik.com, http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com