Dull Sword and Cracked Shield: A Confession

There are times in a believer’s life when the weapons of the world will beat violently upon their shields. There are times when the walls of the world press against them and find it hard to stand under its’ pressure. The sword they carry becomes dull and the shield cracked. Under these circumstances, the enemy knows that the believer is vulnerable. Many times, the battles we face are obvious, but the enemy is a strategist. It’s the subtle battles that do the most damage; the covert battles. We hold our beaten and cracked shield, believing that it’s enough. It doesn’t seem to dawn on the believer that if one can see the other side through the cracks in their shield, they are at risk. The enemy tempts us; sends in those who tell the believer that it’s ok to lay down their sword and shield. They tempt the believer into believing that the other side isn’t so bad; that it’s well with the King.

The mind of the believer, pressed and worn, begins to reason with the enemy. It begins to develop justification for putting down the shield and sheathing the sword. The heart begins to betray the believer by finding something to love about the enemy. And because it feels real and has the appearance of being good, the believer begins to sit at the enemy’s table. The believer, overtime, starts to pick up on some of the reasoning and logic of the enemy. All seems well. The food is satisfying to them. The drink is well with them. Surely their King does not disapprove. Surely this is the will of the King that the believer sits with their enemies and reasons with them. Surely this is how we love our enemies.

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The Warrior and the Believer.

Then one day the King of the believers, being a righteous and just King, sends for His warriors whom He had adopted. He sends out the call and all those who know His voice reply, “Here we are Father, what would you have us do”? The King replies, “All those who know my voice, who have endured until the end, who have kept their swords sharp and their shields mended, I wish to give you rest”. The warriors fall to their knees in reverence to the King and see to their wounded. Yet there is one that does not hear the call. The believer notices commotion in the enemy’s camp and being one who lowered his shield and sheathed his sword wonders what is taking place. The believer runs to the edge of the battlefield, dressed in the garments of the enemy, and cries out to those tending to their wounded.

A warrior lifts his head to the one crying out and readies his sword and shield for battle. Alarmed, the one who wears the garments of the enemy pleads with his brother not to strike him down. “Brother, do you not recognize me”? Approaching him with sword drawn and shield up, the warrior replies, “You call me brother, yet you wear the garments of the enemy’s camp? Where is your sword and shield? Why do you not wear the armor of the King of righteousness? As a servant and son of the King, I do not know you”. With urgency he replies, “It is I brother, a servant and son of the King”. The warrior speaks with authority, “You say that you are a servant and son, yet you look nothing like our Father. You have enjoyed the enemy’s company, while we have endured great battles. Do you not see the wounded? Where were you when they fell to the heavy blows of the wicked? You lowered your shield and sheathed your sword? For what? You sit feasting at the enemy’s table while we fight the fight of righteousness! You have been drunk on the wine of the unrighteous”!

Looking beyond the warrior, the one who once held sword and shield is overcome with fear and dread as he scans the battlefield. Falling to his knees, the eyes of the believer are opened. In that moment of utter shame, the believer is overcome with dread, because of what he has done. It was because of the dullness of his sword and the cracks in his shield that he was deceived. The enemy enticed the believer with food and wine; convinced him to take off his armor. Though still a believer, he allowed his heart and mind to convince him that what he was doing had no great effect on his service to the King. He was deceived. And as he pondered these things, the warrior across from him began to run at him. Raising his sword and shield in righteous anger, the believer prepared himself for what he deserved. The sound of the sword cutting through the air filled his heart with terror. He felt the blow of the shield but not the searing pain of a sword cutting through flesh. Violently he falls to his side from the blow of the shield. His eyes open to see the warrior cutting down an enemy who was going to run him through.

The believer watches as the enemy falls near his feet. The enemy meant to kill him; stab him in his back with no remorse. Still fearful of his fate, he begins to weep. The warrior, still standing at the ready, looks down at him with piercing eyes. He says, “The enemy can never love you the way our Father and King loves you. And because of our King, you shall live. You did not hear his voice, because the sound of it was silenced by the noise of the enemy’s camp. You fell for their deception because your sword was dull and your shield cracked. You took off the armor of our King because you saw that the garments of the world seemed well. Your compassion for the enemy deceived you; setting aside the Kings gift of discernment. Though you deserve death, our Kings mercies are great”.

The warrior kneels down beside the believer and takes him by the hand, lifting him to his feet. “Brother, you see the enemies camp”? “Yes”, the believer answers. “You cannot allow it to stand, you must continue to fight the good fight and endure until the end. Do you understand”? “Yes, I understand” he replies, “but I am naked upon the battlefield with no armor, no sword, and no shield”. Placing his hand on the shoulder of the believer, the warrior says, “Fear not, for you are not forsaken my brother. Listen, can you hear the voice of our King”? “Yes”, he replies with trembling. “And what is He saying”? “He says that I have been forgiven and that He is with me”. “Yes”, the warrior replies.

And as the believer returns his heart and mind back to the works of righteousness, the warrior takes off his armor and gives it to the believer to wear. He then hands over his sword and shield. “Brother, you have not been forsaken for He is with you. You once knew this and fought well. We all fall short of the glory of our King and Father. Remember, we are to be set-apart as He is set-apart. Now go, keep your armor about you, your sword sharpened, and your shield mended. Glorify our King and Father with your life. Obey his commands and it will be well with you. I have heard the voice of our Father, because I have fought the good fight and have endured to the end. The same is for you. My race is run”.

The believer, once a servant and warrior to the King, who allowed the deceptive strategies of the enemy to blind him, once again stands as a warrior ready to take up sword and shield. It is only by the grace and mercy of his King that he is able to do this. To fight the good fight and endure until the end. That is the job of a warrior in the Kingdom of righteousness.

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Confess our Sins one to another.

I am ashamed to admit, but I had fallen for subtle deceptions meant to draw me away from righteousness. The believer described is loosely based on my own experiences. My King and Father had delivered me from the clutches of Paganism and the Occult. He delivered me from all manner of addiction. He changed me from the inside out and the change in me was evident to those around me. I had repented of all unrighteousness and it was good with my King. I had new eyes to see with, new ears to hear with, and a heart of flesh instead of stone. I took up my sword and shield. I put on the full Armor of YHWH and fought battles with success. I shared my testimony with believers and unbelievers. I studied and meditated upon the Word constantly. I loved it. I loved fellowshipping with other believers. I prayed for people and loved them. I was baptized in the Holy Spirit and was bold. I devoured the Word of YHWH like nothing I had ever devoured. I spent countless hours in prayer and supplication to our heavenly Father. There was a fire burning inside of me like nothing I had ever felt before.

Then the cracks began to appear. I allowed rejection to chip away at my shield. I allowed frustration and disappointments to have an effect on me. I allowed certain things in “church” to get me down. I allowed the unbelief from family members to have an affect on how I treated them. Little by little, though I kept my faith and kept my face towards Him, cracks were beginning to widen in my shield. I will admit, I kept my sword sharpened for the most part, but my shield was taking a beating. Then, after becoming frustrated to the point that I began to deal with issues in a worldly way, I fell into great deception. I allowed myself to get sucked into a lie. This lie would cost me and pull me down into a dark place. I allowed myself to side with this lie out of compassion for another.

Of course, by doing so, my witness was blown. My faith and trust in the God of Holiness was made void in the eyes of those unbelievers whom I chose to drown with. It nearly destroyed me. I became angry and depressed. It not only affected me spiritually, but it affected me physically. Transgression was eating up my bones and devouring me from the inside. I began to read the Word less and less. My prayer life came to a halt. I began to find justification for certain things that I had turned away from when I met Yeshua. That which I had thrown in the garbage years ago began to find its way back into my life in subtle ways. What hurt me the most, was that my witness was null and void. When someone from the world would look at me, they did not see Christ. They had seen someone like themselves. I had nothing special. If I would have claimed faith in Yeshua, then those whom I were around had every right to say, “I never would have thought you were a Christian”.

Music that I had rejected when I was born again found new acceptance in my life. I justified it by saying that it wasn’t the “satanic stuff, so it’s ok”. The bottom-line is that my life did not reflect the life of a warrior in the Kingdom of God nor even as a simple believer in the Gospel of the Messiah. Did I pray? Sometimes, and it was normally out of desperation not adoration. Did I maintain a level of morality in my household, yes, but not even near what it used to be when I was a full-time warrior in Christ. Did I confess Christ if asked? Yes, but again, my witness as a TRUE believer in Christ was blown by the words that came out of my mouth and actions when I would get angry. I never denied my Lord. I never cursed Him nor ever allowed the enemy to twist my reverence for Him. Yet actions speak louder than words. The cracks in my shield were gaping tears and the enemy was peering through with a twisted smile. There were times where I would cry out for mercy.

There were times when I would pray with sincerity. I could debate with atheists and talk with the best of Spirit filled believers. Yet I was rotting on the inside. It wasn’t until the Holy Spirit began to deal heavily with me and I finally admitted ALL of my transgressions to Him. He demanded that I look closely at what was really going on. I did. I found unforgiveness, anger, and arrogance in my heart. I found some open doors! I confessed it all to Him and admitted that I was ultimately to blame for most, if not all of, my woes. I took off the armor of God and put on the garments of the world. Instead of feasting with my Master, I am sitting with the world getting drunk on their wine and eating their worldly foods. The world has nothing for me. It proves its deception daily. It proves its carnal motivations daily. It’s in our faces. No shame. No guilt. No remorse. How can I, being a follower and disciple of Christ, be a friend to such wickedness? I can’t! That’s the whole point. My sword was sheathed, my shield was down, and I was defenseless from the enemy’s arrows. Worldly deception is real.

However, there is a God that knows me and He did not reject me. To say He was pleased with my actions is to mock His holiness and righteousness. He was not pleased. No matter how hard we try, we cannot justify our transgressions. Sin is not what we feel it to be. The only thing that matters is what God thinks. What does His Word say sin is? You can’t get around it. Sin is the transgression of YHWH’s commandments. That’s what sin is and to say that we do not transgress His commandments makes us liars. We are hopeless without the sacrifice of our Messiah. Hopeless! Without His covering, we stand naked and guilty before Him. If He truly knows you, He will call out to you. His Holy Spirit will speak to you; warn you. Those who know Him know His voice and follow Him. Though He would call out to me, I did not hear His voice. Not because I do not know Him. No! I could not hear His voice because of all the noise and interference from the world. And I allowed that interference to get in the way of my communication with the only one that matters.

No more. I refuse to stand naked on the battlefield. Thank the King for His mercies and grace. We must be more than believers. We must be warriors in the Kingdom; taking up our sword and shield in service of the King. We cannot sit in the enemy's camp and not bring the sword. We will be attacked. Our shields will be battered.

Stay vigilant brethren! Stay armored up and battle ready! You are engaged in a spiritual war whether you believe in it or not. Don't just be a believer. Be a warrior. Fight!