PRIDE: The Deadiest of the Seven Deadly Sins
Beyond my own personal dilemmas, my times in Colombia also helped me comprehend the distinction between the old American republic and the new global empire. The republic offered hope to the world. Its foundation was moral and philosophical rather than materialistic. It was based on concepts of equality and justice for all. But it also could be pragmatic, not merely a utopian dream but also a living, breathing, magnanimous entity. It could open its arms to shelter the downtrodden. It was an inspiration and at the same time a force to reckon with; if needed, it could swing into action, as it had during World War II, to defend the principles for which it stood. The very institutions - the big corporations, banks, and governments bureaucracies - that threaten the republic could be used instead to institute fundamental changes in the world. Such institutions possess the communications networks and transportation systems necessary to end disease, starvation, and even wars - if only they could be convinced to take that course.
~ "Confessions of an Economic Hit Man" by John Perkins
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By Pieter Brueghel the Elder, the Tower of Babel
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The Devil made me do it.
The Blame Game
It's easy to point the finger at someone else than it is to notice what we did wrong. Who likes to be wrong? Not many.....and yet we cannot be right about everything, can we?
Pride can get in the way of a lot of things. For instance, if we are prideful we might miss an opportunity to learn something new. We act as if we know everything when we answer all questions with authority and conviction. What if someone calls us out and corrects us, do we concede or act as if cornered in a fight. Do we puff up our chests as if we will lose some imagined battle if we aren't right all the time. Who wants to be around a person like that, anyhow? Not me.
I hate to repeat myself but I am of a firm belief that introspection will help us weed out nasty little habit and what I call cyclical thinking. Cyclical thinking is when over the years or decades, no matter the person in front of you, similar negative thoughts about the other arise. They are the enemy and must be held at arms length. The "enemy" usually is someone quite close and because you must deal with them daily, it is easy to pick apart their negative traits. What you don't do is figure out why these habits bother you so much in the first place. Is your friend or partner really trying to make you mad, or do they not know that what they are doing bothers you to the point of anger? No one wins if you expect others to be able to read your mind (and you wouldn't want that anyway).
No One Wins When We Put Up Mental Walls
When I think of the word pride, I think of someone who dislikes others because they think they are better than them. "The other" may dress, talk, even walk differently enough that they stick out and because of that they aren't easily accepted. A prideful person puts up many mental barriers to keep people out, but really it is a hindrance in understanding. How can you meet and understand others when you barricade yourself from others? Is life really that scary? What are you afraid of when you act prideful?
There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself from someone who might cause you harm. Let's get that point straight right away. What I am stating is when we are in a room with strangers, do not immediately judge someone by how they appear. We do not know the whole story and maybe we should. Allowing a discussion with someone new may open our eyes to a whole world of interest and possibilities. You may not become best friends but you can prove that humans are amazing beings that hold more potential than most give us credit.
Countering Pride Means Coming to Terms with These Feelings
Is pride something you feel you must address? Don't be surprised if it is more habitual than you first realized. What are you protecting yourself from when you come up against a prideful reaction? For me, I was quite shy and used pride as a way to deal with peers that looked at me with disdain because I didn't fully fit in. In my mind, I used pride as a way to shun them, even if they would never have allowed me into their clique (and I had no desire to be there, as well).
Breaking down these habitual barriers can take time and be a little painful mentally. We pick up habits that may serve to protect us when we are impressionable youth but really do not help us progress as adults. Kindness, responsibility, and respect get shoved to the side when pride shows up. Pride can not only keep us from making friends with others, it can also keep us from fully knowing ourselves and for Christians, keeping us from fully knowing Christ, and God, the Father.
When we hurt others, we also hurt ourselves. My question for the last few years has been: How does this serve me? When a cyclical thought arises, I look straight at it and ask that question. It serves no one. It leaves me angrier and helpless. I cannot change anyone but myself......which then makes my interior demands irrelevant. If I cannot change my friend's behavior, I can either talk to them and then let it go, or just let it go. In the end, even after having a discussion my friend needs to choose what to do next with their behavior. If it isn't worth discussing then I should REALLY let it go.
We Are (Somewhat) What We Think
Pay attention to your thoughts. Do they serve you? Change something that doesn't and see how you feel. Perspective really doesn't help us deal with the busy-ness of life. If we remove some of our mental boundaries and remove our prideful ways we open the door to a new and exciting chapter in our lives. It starts with a smile and a bit of kindness towards all beings great and small.