The Town Crier

Miss Darya cries a lot.  She's a very emotional and sensitive girl.  She is compassionate.  Her feelings get hurt easily.  She is just a bit of a weary soul.  She's very unlike her brother, who has a very tough exterior.   The two are like night and day.  

Miss D is a happy girl.  She is vivacious and funny and endearing.  But when one thing falls out of place...here come the water works.  

                       

She cries when she bumps into a wall.  She cries when she gets out at t-ball.  She cries when someone else brings treats to the soccer game on the same day she does.  She cries when she calls out my name and I don' t answer her because I'm on another floor in the house.  She cries when Oswald, (that octopus cartoon) runs after the ice cream man and doesn't catch him.  She cries when she gets in trouble.  It's just seemingly her most natural reaction to anything that isn't "right" for her.  

The other thing about her crying, is that it is not soft, tears rolling down quietly, crying.  She's a very loud, dramatic crier.  It's almost theatrical.  There's wailing and hunching over as though the shear weight of her agony is pulling her down.  She weeps, something like you would expect from Sally Field in an Oscar speech.  It quickly turns into sobbing and heaving.   WIthin five minutes she's a red-faced disaster, and most likely unable to get it under wraps for the next thirty minutes.  

I would like to say I'm the perfect nurturing mother to my emotional daughter.  I think perhaps I'm averaging about 75%.   Most of the time, I hug her and I rub her back.  I reassure her that whatever the situation, it will be okay.  I sympathize because I am an emotional person too.  I am also sensitive.  She is so much like me, it's ridiculous. 

The other 25% of the time, I get annoyed.  I start off being sympathetic, but it quickly turns to annoyance.   And it's all me....the annoyance.  I'm not necessarily annoyed because she's crying.  I'm frustrated because everyone is asking me what's wrong with her and I have to say, "Um, she's just upset because she dropped her chips."   Then I get angry at myself for being frustrated with her.   But then I also can't understand why she's crying, literally, over spilled milk.  

It's not the big things that bother me.  I understand being upset when you get out for the first time at t-ball.  I don't understand when she's still crying (wailing) two innings later while she's playing shortstop.  She just seems to lack the ability to shut it off.  Even when she's "over  it," she'll look at me, big puffy eyes, red faced and say, "I just can't stop crying."  And then I feel bad for her and I hug her and tell her she's okay.  

                                    

So here's the issue, or rather, here is MY problem.  I need to stop worrying about other people judging her for crying.  I know that's the majority of my frustration.  I am embarrassed.  I am embarrassed that she is coming to be known as the kid that cries. I don't want her to come to be known as the "kid who cries all the time," and perhaps that's where I'm coming from.  I don't want her to be labeled.  But I also want  her to be able to freely express her emotions?  Shouldn't I encourage her to be open about all her feelings?  Even the bad ones (and regardless of how often?)  Or do I point out that it is absolutely ridiculous to weep over your fallen Dorito?  There must be some kind of balance.  I want her to be comfortable in her skin, and clearly she is not concerned about what people think of her emotional displays.  She does not seem to be phased by several sets of bleachers witnessing her meltdown.  But after a certain amount of time has elapsed, don't I need to tell her to cut it out?

I'm really torn here.  I need advice.  I want her to be her and I don't want her to mask her feelings.  I don't want her to change anything about who she is. I love who she is.  I love her so completely just as she is.  Her compassion and sensitivity melts my heart.  But at the same time, as her mom, is it sometimes my job to help her pull it together?  Do I "reprimand" her for crying when we're out of toothpaste?  And not really "reprimand" but more tell her that it's not really something worth crying over?  But then - who am I to judge what does and doesn't upset her?  Am I making any sense at all here?  Does anyone else have a super-sensitive kid?  

Photo by @vampiretta