Why should a child be taught to fight

Life fulfills all our desires: we are used to fighting - and here we are fighting, for many years. We give birth to children, educate them and give them this baton. Or maybe a fight is not always needed for happiness? Maybe victory is not necessarily war?

Children of the struggle, we are used to fighting, for everything and always: for a place in the queue, for justice in the housing office, for our country, for a prize at work. We are so accustomed to gnawing our fortune from fate that we no longer know how it is otherwise. And out of good intentions we teach this to children. And already they are playing this “war” with fate, fighting for happiness and fighting for peace. Looking at our society now, I would like to ask: is this approach true?

Someone will say: “Faithful! What would our children do now if they did not know how to fight and go against the wind? ” And someone will answer: "We would be happy, not being able to solve problems that would not be."

And there is something in it. Knowing, at least from books and stories, how our ancestors lived, it can be argued that the struggle was not primary. Once upon a time, people knew that if you take a break, the problem can be solved by itself. They knew that if they were silent sometimes, the aggression would be less. They knew that if you accept failure, then fate itself will throw up another chance, better! Why, instead, are we so persistently breaking our head into the wall and becoming defensive, even if no one thought to attack? We are used to the fact that there will be victory if and only if there is an enemy and war. Therefore, in order to achieve something, you need to come up with an obstacle. Otherwise, there is no value in achievement.

How do we teach children to fight
“Are you a whiner, or what?” - Dad strictly said to a boy who for the past hour could not learn to roller skate and wanted to go home.

“A girl cannot be praised, otherwise she will grow up and will think that everyone should admire her just like that,” the mother of four-year-old Marisha friends at the forum assured her.

“Go and have a fight, they gave you the wrong change,” my mother taught ten-year-old Sasha. Maybe this is true. And good intention. Or maybe a man will grow out of a boy who will go against everything, turn the river back, proving that he is stronger than fate. And Marishka will grow up to be a strong woman, who can plug a man into his belt - it's a matter of two seconds. She will learn at five, build a career, only to feel that they love her. And Sasha will consider that he is specially attacked, since you need to swear. We must fight for all the good ...
From here - “boys do not cry”, “a woman should be strong”, “be patient, gritting your teeth”, “never complain”, “you must defend your rights”, “fight against injustice”. Of course, all this makes sense. In each particular case. But in general, it seems that we are sending children to war.

Fight all your life
The psychology of struggle laid the foundations. The post-war past of the countries of the former Soviet Union has changed the worldview of several generations, and it is not surprising that every time this “Fight!” Was transmitted to the babies with mother’s milk. Energy is given, the installation is in place, and when it will manifest itself is a matter of chance. But inevitably this leads to the fact that life goes “easily” only in units. The rest, for many years, unravel the complex knots of events and relationships, arguing with fate.

And that growing children play leaders, run for your goals, demolishing all obstacles. Around - enemies, and life becomes an endless wrestling matches with the enemy, fear itself. And those who are wrestling upbringing spared, I doubt whether all they take from life? Isn't this including is based the widespread proliferation of different trainings and seminars, often quite aggressively about how to become a leader, make a million, to defeat fate?

The gun, which is not
To build character in children, to learn not to give up after the first scratched knees - is also important, because life does not work out, like a puzzle. But there is another side of the coin. If the primary landmark education to be "fighting" and not "life", the defense, not the dialogue, necessarily there is someone who will attack. Even Anton Pavlovich Chekhov wrote that if in the first act of the play on the wall hangs a gun, in the latter, it must shoot. But how to live without struggle?

To learn to find a middle ground. Between "lose" and "to shatter to pieces, but to win." Between "prove his innocence" and "lose a friend". Between the "lean world" and "the good fight". As a child and then an adult, to find the line where to stop and with dignity to walk away? How to find that edge where you need not head to punch the wall and think about the causes of what is happening? Learn to win need to learn to lose too, but more importantly be able to separate the lesion from a deliberate desire to go in a different direction.
Love without evidence. Do our children know that we love them just like that? Even if they achieve nothing and will die a nobody, you know? You know that they don't need to prove anything, but rather doing something in order to respect yourself? You know that "buns" in their family do not have to fight?
To do an unconditional welcome. The birth of a baby starts with a divine unconditional love, and then love and goodness there is a lot of conventions. Child enter the world created by us, the fighters, where is "our" and "not ours". So with child of the enemies can not communicate, there better not to go - there are other flags, and people all differently pray. There was nothing good to give is to fight to not selected! But unless it was raised Muslim, which was surrounded by a protective ring of Christian worship during the riots in Egypt and the Christians who were doing the same thing? Unless it was brought up Afghan boys, who offered tea to the American soldiers?
To be running. In business, there is a rule: you delay the issue for two hours, and if the issue is not solved itself in that time, have at it. Is life wrong? But stop to think, and the decision itself runs to us. Sometimes not to do is also useful.
Out of defence. We have so much teach children to protect their interests (not to let anyone in without a queue, don't let yourself be fooled by the store, give the date the offender, etc.) that inadvertently imparted to them the defense position, the setting that will attack. Therefore, even in a harmless situation see the enemy. You know, as a joke, when the buyer says "Thanks" and the clerk responds: "You talk to me again!". You can teach children to use a gun, but not walk with him at the ready all the time.
Strange, thinking about it brought up the desire to fight, to see now what is happening in our country and the world at large?

Is there a chance for us to live differently, while the philosophy of all countries "if you Want peace, prepare for war"?