.....Meeting with a child bride                                                               

       By  Dottcom1 

 A child bride with her twin in Sudan  

 What is the fate of the girl-child and adolescent girl in cultures where her status and dignity are determined by her ability to provide a husband with several children and satisfies him sexually. Death itself is worse than that kind of fate.                                                                                                                                                                                     I met Hamidah early this year during my assignment in the city of Am Timan, Republic of Chad. West Africa. I’ve never been so touched by someone else’s plight. My kind of work takes me to some the interior of African villages.                                                                                                                                                                            Hamidah was looks like a 14 years old girl but she was actually 11 years old. I met her holding her prescription papers and also carrying a baby girl, wrapped around her back, in a long queue along with other girls about her age. She was number 17 on the queue.                                                                                                                                  She was waiting for her drugs after seeing the doctor in the Center for Reproductive Health and Fistula Repair. I approached her and greeted her in vernacular French language (my French is extremely poor). She smiled and replied in a language that I could not understand.                                                                                                               It was then I decided to call my interpreter, Moussa.  Moussa told me she was speaking Chadian Arabic. I started talking to Hamidah while the other girls on the queue were giggling and fascinated about our discussions.       

       

Fistula permutation                                                                                                                                                               It is a phenomenon practically unheard of in most western countries. It is the major cause of fistula. Fistula occurs after days of pushing a baby that does not fit through the birth canal, very young mothers can have severe vaginal, bladder, or rectal damage, sometimes causing fistulas.                                                                      One of the populations most vulnerable to fistulas is young brides. However, Hamidah is not worried about her fate, she feels its normal and just common flu. She told me not to worry and that (me? I was pitying her condition) she will be fine. She was constantly smiling. She said that she had been coming to the clinic for the past 5 months.                                                                                                                                                                          The lethal permutation of a young girl having sex, getting pregnant and going through childbirth when her body is not developed enough accounts for at least 25% of known fistula cases.      

 The gynecologist at the clinic, who was sponsored by a group of  local community-based organizations and NGOs later told me that Hamidah developed an obstetric fistula after prolonged labour and she  is recovering from her 3rd fistula surgery and lives in hope that she will be “dry” again someday, sometime.                           The lack of financial resources was the most commonly reported obstacle to care, prenatal care was most frequently reported as an intervention that may prevent obstetric fistulas.                                                                 The United Nations states that a $300 operation could repair most fistulas. Nevertheless, most of the third world countries have a limited number of surgeons who are capable of performing these operations and this means there are more patients. Funding is a major issue for these girls. Their husbands and families don’t have $300.      

 Pain & Impact                                                                                                                                                                          It is not necessary for you to have a daughter to imagine the impact of child marriage. These children are robbed of their childhood, denied their rights to health, education and security, In the name of tradition.   Hamidah told me that her perception of early marriage is just a “normal’’way of life-being a  young girl, often uneducated and unprepared both emotionally and physically to endure the practical and cultural responsibilities of a marriage is thrust into it.                                                                                                                    She narrated that traditions of her Fulani tribe governed her upbringing and she never went to school.  Two years ago, her uncle called one of her suitors and the bride price was paid and took her away.                         These trapped girls remain emotionally and psychologically insecure throughout their lives. The parents and guardians are the ones who take the decisions to hand out these girls in early marriage. The ones who are responsible for protecting the girls.  

                                               Campaign against Child marriage 

 Impression about her predicament                                                                                                                          She also said her fistula was a result of trauma from the operative delivery.                                                        “These other girls have the same issues like me. They didn't seem to be complaining about it.  So why should I worry. I’m not a bad person. I’m just a normal girl. Several girls that I associate with, they all have fistula” she affirmed.                                                                                                                                                                                          The shock look on my interpreter’s face alarmed when I asked Hamidah was if she knew the meaning of love. Hell no!! She said. She had never heard that word and is not sure it ever existed! We explained to her for 20 minutes what love means. She was more confused. All she really knew was how to satisfy her husband sexually on the mat or wooden bed.  

 Fistula is 100% preventable. So is child marriage