Happy New Year!!
Happy New Year!!
IT’S IN THE PAST
As I sit and think about what I wanted to discuss, one thing comes to mind “it’s in the past.’ All the good, bad and indifferent from 2017 is in the past. One of the keys to being happy is letting go of things that happened in the past. We will always have the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve no matter what comes your way. So if you dwell on those then you’re dwelling on the past. Pretty simple way to look at things, but it’s the truth.
SAY NO TO RESOLUTIONS!
I know it seems to be big deal in America; sorry I am not sure about the rest of the world are New Years’ Resolutions. I have never been a big fan of this idea. You pick one time of year to make a list of things you know you should be doing and will try to do for a week or two and then quit. The reason why in some cases laziness, but usually it’s the lack of instantaneous results. We have become a generation of NOW. Things can’t happen fast enough. You stumble, and figure it is too much trouble to keep moving forward. According to several studies done (University of Scranton to name one) 8% of those that make resolutions are able to follow through. Why do you think that is?
GOAL SETTING
Goal setting is what a New Years’ Resolution truly is. What changes do I want to make in my life for the coming year? What do I want to accomplish for the coming year? With those 2 statements, they both have one thing in common and you’re setup for failure from the start. ‘…For the coming year’ For many people it’s too far off, it’s not ‘instant ‘or soon enough so they end up giving up. Baby steps. We all want to run the marathon without training. Make your goals attainable.
HOW TO BRING CHANGE TO YOUR LIFE
- You have to want to change in your heart and soul. Saying it and realizing it are 2 totally different things. Until it clicks in your head. You will sit and dwell on all that is wrong and negative, become overwhelmed and stop before you start. That essentially is you first goal.
- Change your thinking. Stop saying ‘I can’t,’ ‘I don’t have the time.’ ‘It doesn’t matter no one will support me.” These are excuses that support a negative mindset. That is the first thing you need to work on. Once you can get this under control you may find, that change you are wanting is becoming stronger, a desire, and a more resolute goal.
This is how you start toward your second goal. When a negative thought comes in, push it out with something positive. Or just push it out. I and my bestie have started calling them ‘squirrel moments’ if you can’t think of a positive at the time then say squirrel, banana, farfegknugen anything that will just change the direction of your current thought process. The say something kind to yourself. You will find these beginning baby steps start to become a pattern. Once you have a pattern, you have a belief and then you can work on change.
You do have to figure out what works for you. I know people that write messages to themselves on their mirrors or post it notes, some even keep journals. A journal for the bad and a journal for the good. As a reminder of what you’ve been through and what you did to overcome it.
Change your mind set on goal setting. Start small and work your way up. Make the 1 yr plan but make 12 small ones that work towards that 1 major goal. If you have to break it down to a daily goal, then DO IT.
Are you going to have a bad day? Yes you are. Are you going to hit a bump in the road? Yes you are. Are you going to hit a brick wall? Pretty sure you will. Get up, take a deep breath and make that next baby step. Don’t think or analyze what happened. (I am soooooo guilty of that.) You can ask what did you learn, but on the path you’re on it’s ok and NORMAL. It is what is how you deal with these issues, it what defines you. Break the negative cycle and take that baby step.
- Be nice to yourself. This is one of the most important things to remember. Most of us, who deal with mental disorders and diseases, are so much harder on ourselves than anyone else. We over analyze and over think EVERYTHING. We are quick to blame ourselves if something goes wrong, because we’re told we’re the broken ones. Guess what? Most people are broken. Just because your brain is wired differently just means you do things differently or you have to find a different way that works for YOU. You are not a disease or a condition. YOU are YOU! For all of this to work you have to at least like yourself. Not what someone thinks of you, but what you think of you.
It sounds crazy, as with many people one issue I have is how I view myself. One thing I have started making myself do (now that we’re empty nesters) is I make myself walk around the house naked. I don’t gather my clothes before my shower. I dry off and then walk out of the bathroom in all my glory. I will never be a size 2 model and I don’t really think I want to, but if doing something this simple can help me appreciate myself on my road to loving myself why not?
The biggest rule here is NO NEGATIVE SELF TALK!!! You are not stupid. You are not dumb. You are not ugly. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. People always look to place blame, usually to misdirect it from themselves so the sense the weak and go after them. Don’t let anyone do that to you. Don’t let others take your power. They will see you happier and do what they can to destroy that. Not because of you, but because they are jealous of what you have. What is it you have?? Happiness and self love.
MY GOAL FOR THE YEAR
If you haven’t guessed it by now is to learn to love myself. To be better to myself. I am still here!! Why can’t I be happy too?? I can. This is one of the steps on my journey. I started months ago, but I thought since everyone is thinking about the upcoming year and their ‘resolutions’ No better time than the present to help others and bring them along with me.
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