When I graduated high school back in 2002, I remember my mom putting a decorated box out in the garage where my open house was to take place. Next to the box were multi-colored index cards and some pens. Next to this table was a sign asking friends and family (and anyone in attendance) to leave a piece of valuable advice or life wisdom "for Graham."

The box filled up rather quickly with lots of wisdom from people much older than me. Also from younger people. One friend of the family, who must have been about 7 years old wrote: "Glass of water before bed," or something to that effect. Out of all the advice I read written on those cards after my party was over, however, only one card really sticks with me to this day. In fact, I would say it has become pretty much a part of me and the way I view the world.

In the handwriting of what seemed to be a middle aged man was written:

Change your mind. It's OK.

I have a decent idea who this card was from now, but at the time I wasn't sure, and to be honest, I thought it was a kind of depressing and cheap piece of advice. Now, though, I love it, and have come to know--at least I think I have--what it means.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, in his revolutionary essay Self-Reliance:

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood."

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. What does this mean? Well, it means that one shouldn't hang on to ideas that one has seen to be wrong, just to keep up appearances and preserve one's sense of egoic pride. It also means that one should never be afraid to speak their mind boldly, in spite of the chance (the often very likely chance) of being proven wrong tomorrow.

What does the god do when proven wrong? He assents to it. He changes. He...adapts. This is the way of nature. The stream does not complain when it is rerouted by a falling tree. It simply accepts the reality of the fallen tree, and goes under. Through. Around. Sometimes backs up. Sometimes retreats.

Humans have this strange propensity to fight this kind of adaptation. To insist upon denying reality, which is, of course, a futile effort.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I am not saying new realities cannot be created, or that reality cannot be changed. What I am saying is simply that the stream doesn't bemoan the tree. Of course, it couldn't anyway, because it is only a stream, and not a sentient, conscious being in the same sense that humans are. But what of humans? How much more powerful could we be if we allowed ourselves that beautiful advice:

Change you mind. It's OK.

Just recently a good friend took issue with something I posted via social media. I stated something as if I knew it for a fact, when really, truth be told, I didn't. I thought I did.

When presented with evidence that I could be wrong, I had to adapt. To change my mind. Sure, what I said was definite I must now simply view as possible. Why is that a big deal? I'm not sure but...I felt a sting.

Why did it sting?

While credibility is real, and one can certainly lose it if constantly asserting things that are not so, or compulsively crying "wolf," there is an element to people's concern with credibility which also seems to be to be about "saving face."

Now, "saving face" is an interesting expression. It sounds like you are keeping up the appearancesof a mask or something, right? Saving face. Don't let your appearances--your reputation, your "face"--be damaged.

Interestingly, the word "person" comes directly from the Latin "persona," which means...wait for it...

"ACTOR'S MASK" or "CHARACTER IN A PLAY."

Wow. Can you see what I am driving at? While we should always strive to stay in accordance with reality, fear of speaking your mind, or changing your mind is a killer. It is simply the upkeep of a mask that you really don't need. Once you lose it, you are free.

Let folks think whatever the hell they want. Those who hear your voice, and who hear the truth, will hear it for themselves regardless, and will know whether you are a phony or not, no matter how many times you make mistakes or change your mind.

Think of the poor kid in university who is there majoring in medicine only because her parents want her to. Should she follow this path, and not her true path, she may find wealth, but never happiness. "Happiness" is related to "happenstance" and should she not see what happens by following her dream, she can never really be happ-Y.

So, I guess what I am trying to say to you, dear reader, is....do you. Unapologetically. When you make a mistake, admit it and adapt. Don't worry about the mask. Your real lovers, real friends, and real brothers and sisters will be there 'til the end. And even if they also abandon you, you will have stayed your course, and been true to yourself.

You will be celebrating with the gods, in the end, that have gone before you.

~KafkA

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Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)