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RE: My Sister the SJW and our Eclipse Encounter
I'm sorry for how things ended up in this quality time with your sister. I also miss my sister and hasn't communicated that much with her since I traveled.
I hope you two will make things right again, as you said. Family.
) not the responsibility of the speaker, but the hearer, who are responsible for their feelings, and
I know, easier said than done. But being hurt to what people say is kind of part of this thing called being human.
You're very right. We are very much social animals, and thus are vulnerable to other's opinions. That being said, I have been compelled to examine my own beliefs in excruciating depth and detail, and as a result have learned that I alone am responsible for how I feel about what others say.
It is difficult to contain my responses to those opinions I find distressing to what is able to be respected by me (believe me, I was emotionally charged and it would have been easy to say much more insulting things to my sister), but, because I alone am responsible for what I say, I make every effort to limit my statements to what I will not fail to find admirable.
I inevitably fail to meet this standard all too often, but do find making the attempt of merit. I would certainly fail more if I didn't.
I would be appalled to reflect on my behaviour and statements were I to act as my sister did when trying to drown me out. I hope that she is able to be appalled by it as well, if she does bother to reflect on it at all.
Edit: whether we can re-establish a connection is ultimately up to both of us, and dependent on our ability to constrain our words and actions to those worthy of respect. At this point, I strongly feel that she needs to grow up. Plugging your ears and shouting 'Lalalala' to drown someone out is about the most childish and insecure tactic I am aware of.
I am confident she is capable of better, and that maintaining contact with her will be impossible if she neither regrets acting that way, nor makes the effort to conduct herself in an adult manner. I will also judge her commitment to family by the degree of effort she undertakes in that direction. Absent a significant interest demonstrated in her actual effort, I will remain certain that further effort on my part will be pointless.
Ok, here's what I think, however childish, do you think she is also acting like this to others, or she can only act like this to you because she's comfortable with you, being you as her brother. Which can be a good thing if it means she is also not afraid of acting like herself or like a child.
I agree that we are also responsible for what we say to others, because not everyone can be like you or like us, some people take what we say the wrong way. Sometimes the best thing is just to smile and agree or just listen, just to be kind, or if spending more time with her is what matters most than being right. Most of the time, it's not what we say, but how we say it.
Well, I sure wish there was that trust between us, but, there isn't. I've been on edge, trying to keep my tongue dull, and bending over backwards to keep her from doing.. exactly this, since she began to re-establish contact after more than ten years of silence.
I think she is living in an echo chamber, where everyone she has a choice about interacting with literally mimics the exact same philosophy, because they all absorb it from the same sources, or is subject to her authority and dares not disagree, such as her students.
I have really tried, over the last year or so, to carefully self censor. When she explained that the location of a vein in her eye was diagnostic of her inability to tolerate gluten in her diet, I just nodded sagely (unable to speak a word, because the least injurious thing I could have said would have been 'I don't agree', or 'that's just silly.').
When she demanded that I remain at least ten feet from her car (with the windows rolled up, and the doors closed) because I was smoking a cigar, I said, 'ok, well, we'll talk soon.' and walked away. This after driving for hours to see her.
When ... bah! I just can't do it LOL.
I'm not good at obedience. I'm barely not feral. TBQH, only my lust for the vast catalogs of knowledge on the internet keeps me connected. I've lived in the woods before, and honestly, yearn for it. There are good people who I do love to spend time with, and I consider good company the dearest treasure, but most people are facile, and the worst are those that claim the strongest affection and profess the most obdurate faith, yet, like my sister, will turn on you for nothing more than the affirmation of their ilk.
Give me an honest hatred anytime over despite concealed with a plastic smile and false profession of love.
I cannot give an honest hatred unfortunately because I can relate to some of what you are saying lol.
The only time I tried to give chance to humanity was when I traveled. But I hope that the rest of my life will be spent in nature. There are few good people out there, and sometimes we just have to give it a shot, to weed out the bad ones. Perhaps risk being disappointed in the process too, for what its worth, oh well.
Ack! Don't hate me because I'm... well, whatever I am =p
I sense no facile essence in you. Keep cherishing the good, and ignoring the rest.
Every now and then we get lucky, and find a good =)