My Friend's funny story of his sweet kitten attacking his "Man Parts".

This morning, as I read my friend, BrandonH's Facebook story, he told of his morning upset with his kitten.    I knew this had to be shared on SteemIt and I've asked permission and will be sending him the proceeds of this post.

Without further ado, here is BrandonH's story of his kitten:

Here I am this morning drowning my sorrows in a cup of coffee and bowl of cereal... It's quiet, my favorite part of the day.  
Early birds know what I'm talking about. Kids are sleeping, nobody to bother you. Just you and your coffee. Fire is crackling in the woodstove, it's very peaceful.

Our kids are grown so we have our dog and cat to replace them.  Most everyone probably remembers the story of our newly acquired kitten. She is the spawn of Satan although occasionally cuddly.

One of the advantages to not having kids coming in and out is that I'm free to roam about in whatever form I chose. Yeah, clothing optional is what I'm hinting around about.  

There I was eating my bowl of cereal when Satan herself snuck up behind me and took it upon herself to stick her claws in to the family jewels.   She didn't mean anything by it though, she was just using my sack as leverage to lift herself in to the chair. 

As a man, ALL bets are off when it comes to the scratch satchel.  They must be protected at all costs. All men become ninja warriors when it comes to protecting the jewels.  

At this point in the story to avoid the hate I should tell you that I very nicely picked up Lucifer and set her on the ground. Well, this isn't a Disney story and I'm not going to lie to you..  I couldn't see her but let me tell you what, there was no mistaking that pain for 5 claws stuck where they truly don't belong.  

Ball protecting ninja warriors will use anything to their availability as a weapon.  My only available weapon at that very moment was a spoon.  I just went for it, my spoon and I became one; Satan took the blunt of a spoon between the eyes. Thunk! 

Needless to say she hasn't tried using me for a scratching post since.  I'm sure she'll be fine when she gets done walking in circles.

By Brandon H,

Central WA, 2017

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My friend Brandon keeps us entertained with his stories, trolling, and Internet fun.  I am hoping his story does well here as we could use some natural content creators with a sense of humor.  If you enjoyed Brandon's story tell him in the comments as I will be sending him the link.

@whatsup