Caring for Those Who Have Cared For Us

in #caregiving6 years ago

There are so many memories that flow through my mind as I look at this picture. One is the memory of Grandma Yoder who I came to know at the end of her life as I started dating my wife. The second is the ongoing memory of Grandpa Yoder and the example of selfless care that he lived and still lives to this day.

Grandma Yoder passed away nearly five years ago now after a decade of health challenges. There was many a time that we didn’t know how she was still alive, and after a time we chalked it up to a resilient will to live.

In the midst of that will to live were dialysis treatments, a plenitude of prescriptions, and a need for people to help her with everyday living.

I never knew Grandma Yoder as the joyous, caring, and persistent individual that my in-laws described her to be - my interactions with her only allowed me to see eyes that danced and a soul that longed for her eternal promise.

Alongside this beautiful soul in her final days was her faithful until death husband, Grandpa Yoder. He has never been a man of many words but the ones he does speak could be the summary of self-help books in print today.

Though I have only known him for 7 years now, Grandpa’s example of caring for his beloved is forever etched in my memory. Alongside that memory is the tireless work ethic of my mother-in-law and the 10 years of caregiving that she provided for her mother.

Rather than send Grandma Yoder to a nursing home, my family decided to care for her needs as a group and see that she lived her last days amongst us. Of course, they didn’t realize those last days would turn into 10 years but it was not the timeframe that determined the work, it was the principle of the family unit.

Age is Not a Burden

We have a dangerous mindset in our society where the youngest among us, and the oldest are only regarded as strains on the family - we see very little in the form of benefit to us and often only count the cost to our wallets.

Since when do we only value our loved ones by how heavy or light of a burden they are to us? Is not life, from the cradle to the coffin, to be of priceless worth to us?

Yes, caring for our parents and grandparents may cost us. How much did it cost them to care for us as we grew up?

The value of a human being is not determined by the output or lack there of of monetary worth. We are, because of the Imago Dei, inestimable beyond compare.

That truth, and not the work it takes to care for the broken and ailing among us is what ought to inform our activity. We tread a treacherous tightrope when we cast aside those who need our help simply because it is too much for us. How soon till we become no better than machines throwing away old parts because they move a little slower than we do?

Our lives should not be characterized by wilting at tough decisions or taking the road often traveled. Let our choices show that we embrace what is true, and that day in and day out we have no regrets for our actions.


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Thank you for sharing these wonderful memories.

You are most welcome.

What a lovely post @lydon.sipe.

Thank you for such a beautiful story of integrity and respect for human life.

Kind regards to you and @mustardseed.

Cheers.

Thank you for your warm and loving words, @bleujay.

@mustardseed and I send our blessings to you this day.

One of the hardest and proudest things was care for my mom for years as she developed Alzheimer's. She eventually passed in my home with the care of hospice. I would not want to have to do it again, but I am glad I did it.

I would not want to have to do it again, but I am glad I did it.

And that is the sentiment I hear from other caregivers as well. It is hard but it is a worthy endeavor.

Yes, my friend, the human soul is of inestimable worth...

If I understand Jesus' words correctly, one soul outweighs the value of the entire material universe:

"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole kosmos and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" —ref
—emphasis on original Greek word added...

😄😇😄

@creatr

#priceless as we like to say. :)

My last grandparent got to spend her last years with her daughter (my aunt). It was a joy to know she got to rest without the stress of dealing with strangers. If my mother wanted to spend her last days with me, I would let her in.

That is a beautiful thing you have promised to do.

I think we humans miss an important ritual when we put our elders in homes for others to care for, the young anever learn about selfless compassion and drying ... I love your wife’s family for caring and their sacrifice. ❤️

I love your wife’s family for caring and their sacrifice. ❤️

I do too, and it is one thing that attracted me to her family. You’re right, there is a ritual and a respect that we misplace when we don’t care for our elders.

You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the LORD.

It's beautiful to hear how you honored and respected Abi's family. You are a good man, Lydon.

I am blessed to have found them.

so much of what people give in social relationships follows a risk-reward principle that basically is self-serving rather than servanthood. What you described is agape love - very admirable, my friend

So true, John. It is a blessing to be in a Christian family that does it right.

We are up against 200+ years of industrial development and this kind of thinking.

"How soon till we become no better than machines throwing away old parts because they move a little slower than we do?"

Where do we draw the line with this kind of approach?

My mother passed this year after 10 years living with Alzheimer's . It is a terrible disease and of course we have to look after them. It's the least they deserve.
Unfortunately there are many governments whose agenda is very much in favour of abandoning the aged after their lifetime of taxes and service.
Shame on them all.

What a great story of perseverance and fortitude from Grandma, Grandpa and the family.

I agree with you my friend. Where do we draw the line? Grateful to hear there are people of your caliber that care for their family.

Dear @ lydon.sipe your post gives us a window to hope for a better world. The new commandment of the Lord says: You will love God above all things and your neighbor as yourself. In this modern world for our desire to achieve more money and comfort for us we forget our older relatives, without remembering that we too could go through it. So giving love to the grandmother was the best decision. Receive a warm hug

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