But is self-interest the driving force of life?

I think so.

Think about this for a second: what is self-disinterest? Does such a thing even exist? Can our minds ever not be interested in what we're feeling/ thinking, in any moment?

Ever try to meditate? That's a good way to find out how self-interested we really are - thoughts starting with "I", left, right, and center. Even the "altruistic" thoughts towards others has a strong tie to this "I-thought" - "how would I feel if this great thing were to happen to my love?", we ask ourselves out of the brief silence of the mind. The "selfless care" for that other person may appear very pronounced in the mind and senses at the ordinary level of consciousness, but we may have to dig much deeper (into the unconscious) to find the very subtle selfishness hidden in what we shallowly sense to be selfless.

We want them to feel _____. We want _____ to happen to them/ for them. We want, want, want. Desire, desire, desire. I, I, I. We can't just let things be and allow things to happen as chance would have it.

The self (ego) wants things to be a certain way - it's all about securing future peace and joy. Whether we desire to secure more peace and joy for ourselves or for all of humanity, it's still selfish because it's still a want that appeals to this "I", and appealing to the self means experiencing a joy response - the two terms are synonymous (therefore an act of self-interest).

Why should the world care what this "I" thinks? Is it partial to the opinion and desires of this oh-so-important-self that I am? Hell no! Yet, as long as a "me" exists, we will push to have our "ideal worlds" manifest into reality, even if that means stepping on the heads of others, whom hold opposing values of equal conviction. A truly altruistic mind would see this dualistic conundrum of clashing desires and beliefs, and their inevitable consequences (competition, conflict, war, etc.), and would have to concede that the "right action" is no action and that no "side" is the right side. THAT would be the act of selflessness.

"I have no wants" is indeed a big step towards non-selfhood ("bye, bye ego"). "I have no fears" would be the next big step that would move one beyond the door-jam. What ensues is REAL FREEDOM - freedom from "ideals".

As we dive deeper into self-awareness, we're apt to find that even our acts of "selfless kindness" are more of a spontaneous movement towards the joy response that ensues than the self-sacrifice for the greater good that we later make of it. All of our acts have a carrot dangling in front of it, held by our egos. Until the self (selfhood) is removed (ego dissolves), self-interest will be the driving force of all thoughts/ words and actions.

Once the ego goes, then selflessness-interest takes its place - I only say this half-jokingly, because, while there is indeed no sense of self left to have an interest towards, egoless-consciousness still strives for wholeness, the difference being that wholeness now actually embodies the whole of the experience ("experiencer" and the world within which it experiences, with no distinctions being made between the two).

I suppose a more refined, better suited word, for the driving force would be - joy-response-interest. We're all driven to feeling joyful and whole/ content/ peaceful. Ironically, we feel these things most when we "lose contact with self" (get lost in the moment) - an experience of egoless-consciousness (non-selfhood).