!!! MY FIRST BATCH OF CBD OIL FINALLY ARRIVED !!!
This last weekend was absolutely brutal for me. I wasn't sure that I would actually see Monday. On Saturday morning...I was struck down with another acute stomach attack...and spent days in the dark just crying and fading in and out of consciousness. Not calling an ambulance could be seen as stupidity...but I have come to realize that reluctance is actually the manifestation of the physical and psychological abuse endured by so called medical professionals...and the resulting avoidance of that less than stellar treatment.
So...despite needing another visit to the emergency room...I did not end up going. My mom couldn't take me and my last experience there was traumatic...I still have the bruises. Since the symptoms were exactly the same as three weeks ago...they would have only done the same tests...or refuse treatment based on those tests. Pumping me full of morphine and sending me home solves nothing...so I just tried to do my best at home.
Using ice packs helped with the burning and the swelling...but because of my sensitivity to temperature the cold just really hurt too. I hate causing two kinds of pain just to make the first feel better. As of today...I seem to be over the worst of this attack. With every ounce of my courage and willpower draining away...I struggled to find that spark that usually gets me through times like these. Because fighting to overcome so much physical pain leaves very little room for anything else...like recharging my emotional and spiritual centers. With both depleted...it comes as no surprise that spark to keep going was missing.
I am still looking for it...
This post isn't all sad though...there is a silver lining. Thanks to the fundraiser I was able to purchase some CBD oil for pain control. My first ever batch arrived on Friday...and because of my spike in pain...the very next day I was able to truly test it out.
Although this CBD oil comes in a very pretty package and tastes amazing...it's strong! I weighed potency vs cost and apparently ended up with both. I wanted to limit myself to 16MG per day to help the long term benefits stretch...but ended up taking two doses of 25MG a few hours apart until the intense stabbing stopped and dulled to just an uncomfortable ache. The difference was very noticeable...and it was actually more effective than the last time I had morphine. My nerve pain was not touched at this dosage...but it was a big deal to minimize the worst of the stabbing and the vomiting. The rest of my weekend was still pretty terrible...but it could have been a lot worse!